Broken
by Modesto-Love-128898
Summary: ChibsxReader. Y/N is trying to escape her past the only way she knows how. Fleeing to California, she tries to find a sense of normalcy. But that plan is soon thrown off course when she encounters sexy biker, Filip Telford. Will their love succeed? Or will her past and his present collide in a not-too-pleasant ending?
1. The Girl in the Skirt

**A/N:** Hey guys! It's been a while. A lot has changed. I am now officially employed. Thank God! So I'm sorry I haven't been updating as frequently as I used to. I am going to try to get on some kind of schedule so that, I can work on my other fics as well as this one. So hopefully, I can get that to happen. I might have another chapter for this up tomorrow since I am off but the boyfriend is working. Sorry, there's no Chibs in this chapter, but I thought we should focus on the reader and get her introduced. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

 **Notes:** Y/N = Your name; L/N = Last name; P/S = Pant size; S/S = Shirt size; S/T = Skin tone (i.e. pale, tan etc.); H/C = Hair color

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Sons of Anarchy, nor am I affiliated with any of the franchise.

* * *

 **One: The Girl in the Skirt**

She walked up to the man who seemed to be in charge. Her midi skirt rustling in the breeze. Heels clicking against the blacktop.

"Clay Morrow?" she spoke.

"Depends," the older man responded, turning away from his conversation with a blonde man who had to be a few years older than herself. "Who's asking?"

"Y/N L/N. I filled out an application. I wanted to bring it directly to you." Holding out the papers in her hand, she refused to put her arm back down until he took them.

"Who gave you an application?" he asked, barely skimming over the first page before looking back to her.

"I didn't get his name. Mohawk. Skull tattoos."

"Juice," he sighed. Looking down at her apparel, he smirked. "Look, sweetheart, I just don't think this job will suit you."

"Trust me, it will. It's the only job I've ever had. Plus I've got plenty of references that'll vouch for me if you actually give them a call."

The blond man chuckled. "I'll see you later, Clay," he grinned with a shake of his head before walking away.

Clay nodded to him before turning back to the young woman in front of him. "Look -"

"A trial run," she suggested, cutting him off. "Today. I'll work around the shop; show you what I can do. I've got boots in my bag and my hands know their way around an engine. Just give me a chance to prove myself."

He glared through his sunglasses. "Why do you want this job so badly? Hell, why should I even give you a chance? You've already proved you don't listen."

"I just moved here and your shop is the only one for miles. I love the field and I need a job. You're hiring. And you'd be making a mistake in not taking me. I meant what I said. I'm good at my job. Not bragging."

Clay considered this for a moment. He could admit, she was persistent. Though he was still trying to decide if she was brave or just stupid. "A trial run," he gave. "You got any pants or are you gonna get that nice skirt dirty?"

She shook her head no. "This is kind of all I have at the moment. Movers ran behind."

He observed her face, concluding it was only a half-truth. "Anything I should know before I let you into my shop?"

Again, Y/N shook her head. "Nope."

He nodded. "Fine. I'll get someone to find you a pair of pants. Maybe a belt."

"I'll be right here," the (skin tone) woman grinned as the grouchy biker walked away from her.

 _Hopefully, things will be better here._

"Juice!" Clay called, cornering the Puerto Rican in the clubhouse.

"Yes, Clay?"

"You gave some chick an application to work here?"

"Why not? She seemed qualified. You said we needed more hands."

"Hands from Charming," he growled. "People who know better than to say something if they see something suspicious. If she's good and I don't hire her, she could hit us with a lawsuit. Doesn't sound very good does it?"

"N-no. No, I guess not."

"Half-Sack," he barked as the former marine walked past. "Find her some pants and a belt. You're her keeper for the day."

"Is she hot?" the prospect inquired.

The club president provided him with a look of exasperation. "Don't give me something else to worry about," he mumbled as Juice gave a thumbs up from behind their superior.

"Right. Sorry Clay."

Half-Sack scurried away to find an extra uniform.

* * *

Three pairs of pants and a bit of rope later, Y/N was set to work. Much to the surprise of the male mechanics, she really did know what she was doing. She smirked at Half-Sack's shocked expression after the day was up.

"You did great," he complimented.

"Thanks." She wiped her face off with the back of her hand, leaving a smudge of grease along her forehead.

"You've got a little…" He motioned to his own face before taking a bandana from his back pocket and beginning to wipe off the track. "It's all good," he promised when she flinched ever so slightly.

"Can I ask you something?" she quipped as he rubbed.

"Sure?"

"Why does everyone call you 'Half-Sack'?"

"Oh. I got one of my nuts blown off in Iraq," he shrugged, pocketing his cloth. "There. All better."

She smiled, choosing not to say anything about his nonchalant attitude towards his situation. "Thank you."

"How'd everything go?"

They both turned their heads to see Clay, cigar in his mouth.

"She's amazing," Half-Sack commended. "She worked on a few of the bigger projects today. Flawless work."

The white-haired man raised his brows at the praise. This had not been what he wanted to hear. "You don't say."

He looked over to Y/N. The H/C haired woman met his gaze. "What do ya say, Sir? Wanna give me a chance?"

He would've thought she was cocky had he not seen her bit her lip in nervousness.

"You start Friday. First thing in the morning. What size are you?"

Y/N blinked. "P/S and S/S. Wow. Friday. Thank you. Thank you so much!"

Grinning from ear to ear, she shocked him when she gave him a full-on hug. After a moment's hesitation, he gave her an awkward pat on the back. "Just don't make me regret it."

"You won't. Promise." She pulled away, tightening her shoulder strap. "Wow. This is amazing. Friday. I'll be here. See you later, Half-Sack," she waved before walking away and turning down the street.

"See ya. Ow!" he whined when he was hit upside the head. "What was that for?"

"For the googly eyes," Clay spat. "You keep an eye on her," he warned. "I don't trust her. The sooner you find any reason to fire her, the better it'll be for the club."

Confused, Half-Sack merely nodded and watched Clay's retreating back.

* * *

 **A/N:** So that's what I have so far for this. Really hope you liked it. As always, comments are appreciated and I do take requests. Fandoms, you can find in my bio as well some of my other fics if you are interested. Thank you so much for reading.

With love,

Ana


	2. The Man with the Scars

**A/N:** Actually back like I said I would be. Thank you guys so much for reading. I didn't know how I was going to do at this particular fic. I love SoA so hopefully, if this goes over well, I will have so more fics for this up. I'd like to have a bit of everything up on here. This is definitely a far cry from the Glee stories that I have done (although Lea Michele was in season 7 hehe). Anyways... Onward!

 **Notes:** Y/N/N = Your nickname

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. All rights go to their respective owners.

* * *

 **Two: The Man with the Scars**

Filip "Chibs" Telford watched as she walked in for her first day. The way her H/L H/C hair was put away under a ball cap. She seemed a little nervous but that went away as soon as she saw the prospect, greeting the goofy blonde with a friendly wave as she went over to help him start setting up for the morning.

"Who's she?" the Scotsman asked, looking at Tig as the curly-haired deviant pulled up beside him on his own bike.

"Beats me," the club's sergeant-at-arms shrugged. "Nice ass though."

"You would be lookin' at her ass." Laughing, he dismounted his motorcycle and began to make his way over. "Mornin'!" he bellowed, clapping Half-Sack on the shoulder and looking at the garage's newest employee.

She was captivated when she saw him, His shaggy dark hair streaked with whitish-gray. The scraggly beard that she just wanted to reach out and touch. Deep set brown eyes looked down at her as she observed, looked slightly sad. Like he had something weighing on his mind. The thing that she noticed last were the scars that ran across both sides of his cheeks. She found herself wondering how he got them, but didn't dare ask. She wasn't that disrespectful.

She shook her head when he realized he'd stuck out his hand for her to shake, a Scottish accent coming from his lips. "Chibs."

"Y/N," she blushed, clasping his hand. Though it was gloved, she could still feel the slight tingle from the small contact. Briefly imagining how his hands felt and what they would feel like against her skin, she pulled her hand away.

 _Now is not the time to be finding someone attractive. You've got work to do._

"You can just call her Y/N/N though," Half-Sack offered. "Too much work using her actual name," he joked.

"Y/N/N," Chibs nodded.

"I should get to work," Y/N smiled. "Don't wanna run behind on the first day."

Wiping her palms on the leg of her uniform, she strolled away, slowly turning on each light before starting to sweep.

"Clay took her on?" the former SAMBEL member wondered. "She's not from here."

"Yeah. But she's really good," Sack replied.

"But with ATF lurking, are we sure that's a good idea? Hiring someone who could be persuaded to rat on us?" When he didn't get a response from the younger man, he sighed. "I'm going to go talk to Clay."

* * *

After meeting with the club president, and witnessing Piney almost kill the man, Chibs walked out into the parking lot. He could still remember the feeling of being sent flying into the air from the explosion. After confessing to the group that he had intended to make a deal with Stahl. He had been informed that he was in charge of getting to know the new girl. Make her feel comfortable. Get information on her past.

Though he had been forgiven, he still felt guilty. At this point, he would do anything to get back in the club's good graces.

He found her bent over, inspecting the inner workings of a Tacoma, and allowed himself a moment to admire the view before clearing his throat. "Y/N/N?"

Jumping slightly, she turned around to face him. "Chibs."

"Have you had lunch yet?"

She looked at the clock. It was almost five. "No. We've been pretty busy. I don't mind though."

"We're closed. You can work on it tomorrow."

"It's fine," she insisted, picking up a clipboard and making some notes.

Chibs grabbed the clipboard, tossing it aside onto one of the tool boxes before taking Y/N by the arm and leading her out of the garage.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, trying to set her feet into the concrete.

"Taking you to dinner. I'm hungry and you haven't eaten anything."

"I said I didn't mind. I like to stay busy."

"Here," he said, reaching into the saddlebag of his bike and producing a spare helmet.

She took the helmet with slight hesitation and watched as he sat onto the seat. "We're taking your motorcycle?"

"Of course. Get on."

Ignoring her brain telling her this was a bad idea, she put on the helmet, securing the straps and mounted the bike behind him. She sat there, noting the shaved portion on the lower part of his head where there appeared to be recent stitches. Was the man prone to injuries or something?

"Hold onto my waist." Turning slightly, he took her hands and wrapped them around his torso, causing her body to lean against his. "Don't let go." When he felt her nod against his back, he started the bike and moved his kickstand back before pulling out into the road.

She leaned her face in closer to him, pressing her cheek against the patch on his kutte. For comfort, she told herself. She could smell him. Leather, cigarettes and another smell that she couldn't quite describe which she assumed was the soap he showered with. She liked it.

* * *

It didn't take long for them to get to Lumpy's Family Restaurant and Y/N was a little disappointed that the ride had to end. She like holding onto him. It felt safe.

As they got off the bike, she looked through the window that ran alongside the wall. "I'm a little underdressed for public dining," she mumbled when she saw how many people were inside.

"No one will say anything," Chibs assured, opening the door and leading her in.

"And how do you know that?"

"You're with me. No one will say anything to you."

"Can I at least use the bathroom to wash my hands?"

"Sure." He pointed to his left at the women's bathroom door.

She didn't wait for him to say anything else. Instead, she made a beeline for the restroom. Closing the door behind her, she leaned up against it and closed her eyes before releasing a big breath.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you guys so much for reading. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I do work tomorrow, so I shall see how my schedule goes from there. Hopefully, I can have something up for you guys by midweek. As always, I do take requests and you can find fandoms listed in my bio. I love hearing back from you guys, so if you have any pointers that would be great!

Lots of Love,

Ana


	3. Dinner with a Son

**A/N:** Finally! It's up. I finally have a little time off from work. Sorry about the late update. As I said, I have been working so I haven't had a lot of time between my job, taking care of the house and just life in general. But I'm hoping you aren't too upset with me. Anyways... This chapter was hard for some reason. I knew what I wanted to happen and I knew that I wanted the characters to start interacting together one-on-one. And though the idea was in my head, setting it out to work was a little difficult. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. All things belong to their respective owners.

* * *

 **Three: Dinner with a Son**

She walked over to the sinks, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked awful. She took off her hat and shook out her hair before removing her overshirt. Standing in the mirror, she stared at herself again. Tired E/C eyes stared back at her as she stood there in a black shirt and her work pants. This wasn't a date. She knew that much. And she didn't need to get so worked up about a man she'd just met after what had happened.

It was just dinner. At least that's what she told herself as she washed her hands and arms in the sink, watching all the black water swirl against the white porcelain. She wet a paper towel and rubbed it against her face and neck for good measure.

"That's as good as it's going to get," she grumbled to herself, running a nervous hand through her H/C hair before grabbing the rest of her belongings and heading back into the restaurant.

She didn't expect him to be waiting outside the door for her. She when she saw him, she almost swung.

"Easy," he coaxed, catching her fist before it could reach him. "Just me. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I thought you'd be at a table by now."

"Well now that wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me, would it?" He smiled at her, noting how she wouldn't meet his eye. "Two," he told the waitress who walked up to them.

"Right this way." The middle-aged redhead led them to a small booth directly next to the window where they sat and received their menus. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"The usual," Chibs nodded.

"Umm… Water?" Y/N smiled nervously.

Chibs waited for the woman to walk away before turning his eyes to focus on the mechanic in front of him. "So what made you move to Charming?"

"Oh, you know… Just a change of scenery I guess." Twirling her hair around her fingers, she looked out the window at the darkening sky. "Just wanted to get away from the city. Find somewhere small to settle down."

"The city?"

"Yeah. I'm from Charlotte."

"No small towns in North Carolina?"

"None like this."

He noted the small smile that graced her lips as she stared at the people walking past them. "What about your family?"

"Huh?" Pulled out of her daze, she looked back at the older man before looking down at the table and opened her menu. "Oh. I don't talk to my brother. And my parents died a few years back."

he decided not to comment on the way she gave her head and nervous scratch before looking away. She was only giving partial truths. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It is what it is," she sighed. "I can't change it now."

"Do you mind my asking how?"

Y/N let out a sad laugh. "Kinda. I mean no offense but I don't really know you all that well."

"Fair enough." He opened his own menu and began to scan the options.

"I'm Amory and I'll be serving you this evening," a girl greeted, walking up and placing their drinks on the table. She was relatively young - definitely under twenty with dark hair that was pulled back at the nape of her neck. "You all set to order?"

Chibs looked to the woman across from him. "What would you like?" he asked her.

"Burger and fries?" It was more of a question as she looked to him.

"I'll have the same," the biker nodded, taking Y/N's menu with his and handing it to the teenaged server.

"Alright," she smiled, taking the menus and writing down the order. "I'll be right back with your food."

"What about you?" Y/N asked once the girl was gone.

"What about me?"

"You're not from here either."

"What gave it away?" he joked. His chuckle would've lasted longer had she not given him a deadpan look. "I was in the Belfast charter of the club. Transferred here."

"I didn't realize this was a global thing. Kind of cool."

He smiled at her small hint of admiration. "Aye. It can be." Looking her over he noted how she bit her lip as if she wanted to say something. "What is it that's on your mind, Y/N/N?"

"You can call me by my real name," she chuckled. "It sounds a lot cooler when you say it."

He smirked at her. "You didn't answer my question."

"I guess I'm just a little confused."

"About?"

"Why you were so adamant about having dinner with me. You don't even know anything about me really."

"I want to get to know you."

"But why? I mean I'm not exactly the most interesting person on the planet. You're handsome enough to get any woman you want so it's obvious you aren't doing it for sex."

He tried to find an answer. A lie. Part of him genuinely did want to know more. And not just for the club. Though he did feel sick about both deceiving her and finding her interesting. The last thing he needed was to mess things up. Again. So instead, he focused on making a knot out of their straw wrappers.

"Our food's here," Chibs reported when he spotted their server.

She perked up slightly at the thought of food. Something that would give them an excuse not to talk. Something that would keep him from prying into her personal life. Keep a barrier between awkward conversation and whatever other confessions might slip from her mouth.

 _Way to go YN..._

* * *

She took each bite in small amounts. Deliberately taking a long time to chew each one before swallowing. The longer her mouth was full, the less she'd have to answer questions. By the time Chibs had finished eating, she's only made it through half of her burger.

He knew she was stalling. He just needed to figure out why.

It was dark when they'd stepped outside again. She crossed her arms, looking around, trying to figure out her next move.

"Hey what time is it?"

Chibs took out his phone to see. "A quarter to eight."

"Damn. I should get going. Thanks again for dinner," she smiled, tying her work shirt around her waist and rubbing her hands together. "I had a good time."

"Where do you think you're going?" Chibs inquired, confused when she started to turn away from him.

"Oh. I can walk home from here," she smiled.

"It's late. I'll take you."

"It's Charming."

"I'd still rather take you. For my own peace at mind." When she tried to walk again, he stepped in front of her. "What is it?"

She gulped, unsure if she should tell him the truth.

"Are you on drugs or somethin'? Is that it?"

"No!" she snapped, looking offended. "It's just… I live in the women's shelter outside of town."

"Women's shelter?"

"Yeah. And if I want to get there before the doors close for the night, I should really get going."

He stepped in front of her once more when she made to leave again. "I'll take you." Her eyes were glassed over and her cheeks were reddened from embarrassment. "Get on."

He didn't look back to make sure she would listen. Instead, he got on his bike, holding out a helmet for her. A moment later, he felt her body against his. Turning his key, he started the bike and drove off.

* * *

When they arrived, he turned off the engine and let down his kickstand so that Y/N could get off.

"Thanks for the ride." Not looking directly at him, she removed the helmet and shook out her hair.

"Keep it," he shook his head when she tried to hand the helmet back to him. "I'll come to pick you up in the morning."

"You don't have to do that. I don't want you feeling sorry for me."

"It's not that. It's just a long walk from here to the shop."

"Look. Chibs. I - I don't want this to affect anything. You wouldn't have offered if you didn't know I was staying here. And it's humiliating enough that you know. If anyone else was to find out…"

"If you're worried about me running my mouth, you don't need to be. Your secret is safe with me. You can trust me, he added when he saw he look to the side.

She met his eyes as he dropped her off in front of the building. "No offense, but I really can't. I don't trust you. I feel like everything I say is going to end up whispered in Clay's ear. I'm not dumb," she added when he opened his mouth to object. "Your interest in me was too sudden to be real and Clay didn't want to hire me in the first place. He's looking for a reason to get rid of me. I'm not going to give him one."

His jaw set. He chose his words carefully. "It isn't posing a danger to business." He didn't mention which business. "I don't think it's anything Clay needs to know."

She nodded, holding back tears of relief. She turned when the door opened. Margaret, the woman who usually closed up the house for the night, called out to her. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine," Y/N assured. She looked to Chibs again. "Thanks for dinner. And the ride."

"I'll pick you up in the morning," he reminded, starting his bike and watching until she walked inside. Once the door was closed again, he drove off, heading back to Charming.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you guys so much for reading. I received two review and I really do appreciate it. It means a lot that people are actually enjoying what I am writing. Plus it's nice to know that people out there appreciate Chibs. Haha. Anyways, as always, I do take requests. You can find the fandoms listed in my bio. I try to respond as quickly as possible to PMs. If you'd like you can check out some of the other things I've written (if you're interested). Thank you so much for reading. I hope to update soon.

Much love,

Ana


	4. Little Miss Sunshine

**A/N:** Hey guys! I finally finished the fourth chapter. I was having a little bit of a block with how I wanted this particular chapter to go down so I took some time to write a chapter that is later on in the story instead. But I finally finished this and am now working on the next chapter. Thank you guys so much for reading this. It's a little difficult sometimes when it comes to dialogue. I want everything to sound like something that character would actually say. I know how irritated I get when I read something at it's so far-fetched for that particular character so I'm really trying to avoid that. I also just realized that I forgot about Piney opening fire in church for some reason so if you noticed that missing from chapter two I believe it is, I apologize for that. I am now literally watching the episodes over to see where I can fit certain things in. So hang in there with me. This isn't like anything else I've done before.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Sons of Anarchy nor am I affiliated with any of the franchise. Everything belongs to their respected owners including some of the dialogue in this chapter.

* * *

 **Four: Little Miss Sunshine**

He'd been picking her up all week. Part of her hoped he'd randomly forget to do so, but he hadn't missed a day. Then again, she'd waited for him, so it'd be much too late to start walking to work now. She'd received a full-on lecture when she'd arrived back at the shelter last night.

How she should stay away from the club. How it wasn't safe. She'd asked why of course, to which she got no real answer.

"Just know it's not the safest environment for a woman," Margaret had warned her. "They may keep Charming safe. But the methods… Why don't you just go to bed, hun?"

It wasn't really a suggestion. And of course, Y/N had stayed up all night replaying the evening and Margaret's words in her head. She was awake when the alarm had gone off. She hadn't slept a wink.

Still, she stood, leaned up against the building that she now called home with a helmet in her hands cradled against her stomach. It wasn't until she heard the sound of a bike that she noticed her leg had been tapping. When he pulled up to the curb, he smiled at her, eyes obscured by his sunglasses.

"Morning."

She nodded with a grumble, getting on behind him. Once the helmet was secure, she wrapped her arms tight around him, letting her cheek fall against his back.

The ride was relaxing. She could admit that. She almost wished it wouldn't end. The roar of the bike. The wind against her skin. It was the most freeing sensation she had ever felt in her life.

They pulled up to Teller-Morrow only too soon.

"Do you want a ride back?" Chibs offered.

Y/N shook her head. "I really do enjoy the walk. It gives me time to think. Plus, I don't think Margaret wants you there very much. I was warned all about you."

"Oh really now." He stood up from his bike, following her to the garage. "And just what did she have to say?"

"That you kill people for fun. Relax," she chuckled when he tensed up. "I'm joking. She was very vague, just saying the club is a bad environment for me basically."

"Well, it's not like you're joining. And don't you think you can hang around whoever you want?"

"It's a little bit more complicated than that."

He watched as she opened the garage doors before combing her fingers through her hair and tying it up into a bun with an elastic she had around her wrist. Small strands had escaped around her nape and ears. The older man couldn't resist, tucking them back for her before she could.

She suddenly became aware of how close they were standing. If she'd barely reached forward, her hand would be on his chest. He looked down, his eyes meeting her. She bit her lip, unsure of what was going to happen. She felt her shoulders tense and her stomach flip-flop. She could suddenly feel every inch of her skin tingling with anticipation. He was going to kiss her.

Instead, Chibs cleared his throat and stepped back from her. "I'll see you around, yeah?"

Y/N watched him go, eyes wide as she let out a breath she hadn't noticed she'd been holding. "Y-yeah," she spoke. Though she was sure he couldn't hear her anyway.

* * *

The rest of her day was spent in a foul mood. She'd let him get under her skin and hated it. A relationship was not something she was aiming for right now. Not until she got out of the shelter and felt safe about it again. Yet she wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Feel his lips against hers. Against her body.

But what irritated her more than her own emotions were his. He was confusing and it hurt her head trying to figure out how he felt for her. It had disrupted her thoughts so much that she'd almost taken herself out with a welding gun. Twice.

Was he just being friendly? Was he doing this to get her fired? Did he want to kiss her or was it all in her head?

"Excuse?"

She jumped at the voice, hitting her head on the side view mirror of the truck she was currently working on.

"Shit," the woman cringed. "Sorry about that."

"It's all good" she assured, rubbing her head. "What can I do for you?"

The woman was tall, dressed in a suit with medium-length blonde hair that fell around her shoulders. "I'm Agent Stahl with ATF. I'd like to ask you some questions if you've got the time."

Y/N raised an eyebrow. "For what?" Laying her ratchet down, she pulled a rag from her back pocket and wiped across her forehead before returning it in the same place.

The woman didn't answer. Instead, she tilted her head to the side with a haughty smile. "Not many female mechanics here in Charming."

"No I guess not," she agreed with a blank expression. "What do you need to talk to me about?"

"If you would come to the station with us we can get this over quickly."

"Us?" Y/N turned to see two men walking up behind her in their own suits. "Could I just tell my boss first?"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

One of the men grabbed her arms, securing them behind her back. "What the hell? Let me go!"

"Take her," Stahl ordered. "I'll let Morrow know where she'll be."

Trying to fight back, Y/N growled and pulled, attempting to free her arms. In her efforts, she'd only managed to hurt herself. Knowing how her skin was, she knew there would be bruises later. She was not looking forward to explaining this to Margaret.

* * *

She laughed. "Yeah. I totally work for the cartel."

Stahl sat across from Y/N at the interrogation table. "I never said you did. What I am saying is that you know about the guns being dealt by SAMCRO. You aren't as clever as you'd like to believe. You show up at the height of everything, the only woman actually 'working' in the garage and you're not a local. So that tells me one of two things: The first, and least likely, you really did just move her because of problems back home and just happened to arrive in Charming now. Or, and this is my personal favorite, you're acting as a liaison. We usually suspect men, so they sent you, a female, with no criminal record but connections to known gun runners."

Her jaw tightened. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh really? That's strange because you seemed to have had an ongoing relationship with one of them prior to skipping town." Pulling a folder from the stack in front of her, she opened and slid the file toward Y/N. "Ring any bells?"

Y/N couldn't help not looking down at the papers in front of her. The picture. Those familiar blue eyes that stared back at her. "I think you don't know shit. And you're reaching." Closing the envelope, she slid it back across the table.

"I don't think I'm reaching all that much." Sliding another folder forward the ATF agent smirked when she saw Y/N's eyes widened just the slightest. "A little old for you I'd think."

Pictures of her riding with Chibs were laid out in front of her. There was one with them at dinner together. And one from as recent as that morning. They were standing close. Very close. He'd been leaning into her, and she into him.

Her throat had gone dry and she had to force herself to swallow. Closing the cover, she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "He just gives me a ride."

"Every day this week. You seem rather intimate with a former Real IRA member." Stahl gave a tight smile. "Listen, Y/N/N - I can call you Y/N/N right?"

"Call me whatever you want, Sweetheart," Y/N smirked back, trying to ignore the new information that had been revealed to her.

"I find it hard to believe that you didn't know what the Sons of Anarchy gang is about."

"Believe what you want. But I don't."

"Okay, listen here Little Miss Sunshine. You either give me the information I need and I'll see to it that you receive a new identity, income, and place to stay. Or, you do nothing, and I tell your friends where you are. We'll see who kills you first. Them or your boss."

"So you want me to commit perjury. You think giving me a fake name is somehow going to bring me to your side. I'm not on anyone's side and I'm sure as hell not going to lie for you."

"Tell you what Y/N/N. I'll give you a few days to think it over." She started to gather her things and stood. When Stahl reached the door, she turned and smirked at the young woman who still sat. "You're free to go. For now."

* * *

She'd never been so angry. She was furious. How in the good Lord's name had she managed to get herself entangled in this? She had to get out of here. She had to do something.

It wasn't until she'd found herself in front of Teller-Morrow that she'd realized where she'd been walking toward. When she walked through the gate, she was greeted by groups of people entering the building. Men in kuttes were holding guns and there seemed to be a feeling of panic. Curious, she followed them.

It hadn't taken her very long to find Chibs as he stood by the bar watching as Clay stood over everyone, music and voices suddenly cut off.

"I wanna welcome you all to Club Reaper," the old man spoke. "I'm glad you made your reservations early 'cause as you can see, we are booked to capacity."

There were slight chuckles from a few of the men. Y/N chewed the inside of her cheek, listening, still trying to figure out what was going on.

"You're here because you're family," Clay continued. "And because SAMCRO takes care of its own. Next couple of days this club's got some business to handle that could put our members and the people connected to us in...unfriendly situations. Now, chances are, nothing's gonna happen but...people have already been hurt on my watch."

She noted the way Chibs shifted almost uncomfortably as Clay gave a quick glance toward him.

"And that ain't ever gonna happen again," the club president assured. "Nobody gets in. Nobody leaves without an escort. You got a safety concern, you talk to Piney." He gestured to the old man with a rifle and oxygen tank. "You got a comfort concern, you talk to my queen."

A woman with dark highlighted hair and black clothing nodded toward everyone. Y/N had seen her around but had never been introduced. To be honest, the woman kind of scared her. She seemed intimidating.

"Under this roof, you'll all safe," Clay spoke again. "I want you to make yourself at home. I love all of ya."

As he stepped down, everyone started to cheer and clap. It was strange to her. How they could all be so proud and at ease when he'd pretty much just told everyone that they and their children were potential targets for whatever was going on? But she couldn't worry about that now.

All she could think about was confrontation. So she followed the men as they walked into another room. And waited outside the door until her rage made her impatient. Just as she was about to storm in, half of the men came out including a forlorn looking Half-Sack.

"Shitload of balls," she heard as she walked in, closing the door behind her.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Clay demanded.

"I walked."

The old man glared at her.

But she wasn't looking at him. She was looking at the Scot who had stood upon her entrance. "You lied to me!"

"I didn't lie to you about anything."

"Oh yeah? Running guns? Being in the Real IRA. Any of that ringing a bell for you?" She stood up against him, her chest against his.

"Where did you hear that?" Bobby, a man with long curly hair demanded.

"You're friends down at the station were happy to spill. I can't believe I fell for this shit."

"Like you weren't already working for the ATF," Clay accused, throwing her into a chair. "I should kill a stupid bitch like you."

Her blood turned cold as he loomed over her, his breath hot on her face. Suddenly her anger was replaced by fear and she couldn't move.

"She's not a fed," Chibs defended, standing between the two. "She's just some homeless girl from North Carolina."

Jaw dropped, Y/N felt her cheeks warm. "Asshole," she whispered, standing and storming out the doors.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you guys so much for reading. I really hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm sorry for the wait and the previous author's note. I'm not sure anyone actually reads them anyway, but I like to talk to you guys and just let you know what's going on as well as let you know how appreciated your support it. Your feedback really does help me as a writer, so don't be afraid; be honest. As always, I do take requests. Fandoms are listed in my bio section. You can reach me through private messaging if you have a request or just want to talk. Either way, my inbox is open to you. I hope you all have an amazing day!

XOXO,

Ana


	5. Son for a Son

**A/N:** I feel like I haven't been on here in forever. Sorry about that. I feel like I'm always apologizing. But you know, I've gotta make rent and pay bills and get my car fixed and all of that requires work. So I'm updating a 2:30 in the morning. Hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** A good portion of this is actual episode dialogue. So just pointing out that I am not the creator of some of these scenes towards the end (only Y/N's lines are mine). I am not now nor have I ever been affiliated with anything pertaining to the rights of Sons of Anarchy. All characters and dialogue belong to their respective owners.

* * *

 **Five: Son for a Son**

"Let me out!" she demanded of them men blocking the gate.

"Hey!"

She turned at the sound of a woman's voice. Clay's wife was walking directly toward her.

"Look I'm just trying to leave." Tears stung her eyes. Was the universe mocking her?

"Why don't we have a little chat. I'm Gemma."

She couldn't quite make out the reason why she followed her. They sat on the benches.

"So where are you from?" Gemma spoke, lighting up a cigarette and offering one to the young woman beside her.

"Charlotte," Y/N answered, shaking her head in declination. "Did Clays send you to spy on me too?"

"Spy?"

"He had Chibs do the same thing. Act like he cared."

"Trust me, I'm not acting and I don't care. What I do care about is that you don't put this club in danger and go running your mouth to someone."

"Who am I going to tell? You've got the sheriff in there."

"Observant."

"I can be."

"Then you should note that the club is about family. And keeping Charming safe."

"How does dealing guns do that? How well at least, considering everyone's packed in there like pigs for slaughter?"

"Look," Gemma sighed, blowing out a cloud of smoke. "I'm gonna tell you something. And you're gonna listen. Chibs seems taken with you for whatever reason. So I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. But if I pick up on even a hint of you betraying him or this club, remember that rats end up dead in the gutter."

"I know better than to rat. I'm not stupid." She leaned her back against the table and looked out at the lot. She let herself relax. "Taken with me?"

"Honey, I know everything that goes on around here. Especially when my boys are involved. A little young for him in my opinion, but I don't judge."

Y/N blushed. "I-I can't feel that way for him. For anyone."

"'Cause you're on the run?" She nodded when she noticed the girl stiffen. "Like I said. I know everything."

* * *

He had no fingers. Well, he had two. And it didn't look like he was born that way. He'd practically plowed over her as he made a beeline for the club. It wasn't until he'd started apologizing that she'd noticed. Piney helped her up.

"What the hell, Chucky?" the old man demanded, taking a hearty inhale from his tubes.

"I need to see Clay," the two-digit man replied. "It's about Caracara ."

"Caracara?" Y/N raised a brow.

"Porn business," Chucky informed. "Very lucrative."

"Oh."

"Let's get you inside," Piney sighed. "See if Tara can do something about your nubs."

"I appreciate it."

"What the fuck happened to him?" Y/N whispered when the lanky of the three headed in toward the clubhouse.

"Pissed off the wrong people, we'll just say."

"Right. Well, this has been enough information for me today so I think I'll just stay out here. Sweep or something."

It didn't take long after Clay returned with some of the others before Chucky reemerged, going for the sheriff's vehicle. Figuring she'd be running into Chibs again soon and deciding she wasn't ready for that, she followed him. "What are you doing?"

"They're letting me play with the siren."

 _Is this guy for real right now?_ "Cool. Hey can I sit with you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, sure thing." He pulled opened the door for her and she slid in as he ran around to the driver's side.

"So when did you get here?" he asked her.

"Not too long ago. Hasn't even been two weeks."

"And they trust you already?"

"No. No they're keeping me here because they don't trust me." She leaned back against the headrest, watching as he tried to figure out the siren. "Sorry," she apologized when he caught her staring at his hands.

"It's alright. I had a bit of a problem. This was how it got fixed."

"Problem?"

"CMD. Chronic Masturbation Disorder. I did it when I was nervous. Most of the time not in the right situation. Became too much of an issue when I was working for the Chinese before coming here. They cut my fingers off. Now I do bookkeeping for Caracara. Or at least I did until it burned down."

"They just cut your fingers off?"

"Yeah. I mean it worked out."

"You're okay with that?"

"I like to accept things for what they are. Leads to less disappointment."

"Right…"

Maybe she was better off inside.

* * *

The other women kissed and hugged their men in front of their bikes. She hadn't really seen Chibs since the incident. Not until now that is. Apparently something big was going down tonight.

"Tell him good-bye," Gemma suggested when the crowd had started to gather. "Might be your only chance."

So there she stood, watching as he put on his gloves. He hadn't looked up from his task. Calling out his name, her heart seemed to stop when their eyes locked. She forced her feet move, left then right, until she was standing directly in front of him.

"Yeah?" he spoke, a slight attitude in his tone.

"Be careful."

His eyes softened. "Aye. I will be." He looked down at the ground between them. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier."

"It's okay. I guess I was just a little embarrassed. But it got Clay out of my face."

"He was just looking out for the club. What?" he asked when she shook her head.

"Clay thought I was ATF. ATF thinks I'm working with you. Can anyone actually believe I just moved here to move her? And don't worry. I'm not going to tell anyone."

"I know. Listen. I want you to know that it wasn't all a lie. I am interested in you."

"Chi-"

"But before we do anything we have to learn to trust each other. That's going to take time. And honesty from both sides I suppose."

"Chibs I -"

"Can't you just wait until I'm back to turn me down," he joked, placing his leather-clad hands on either side of her face. "We'll talk."

He kissed her. It was soft, but firm. And it was honest. And it was what the both of them had been wanting all day. They pulled away from each other at the sound of engines revving. He gave her one more peck on the lips. Y/N nodded as he got on his own bike, stepping back as they all drove away.

* * *

"Gemma, I have to get back. I can't just not show up at the shelter. It doesn't work that way."

"Who's to say, we let you go and you don't go find Stahl?"

"Trust me. That bitch is not someone I'd go to for comfort. She wants to blackmail me."

Morrow's old lady smirked. "Right. And what's she got on you that would actually work?"

"Plenty." She looked over when she felt Gemma's eyes on hers. "There's stuff even you don't know. Stuff I'd rather not go into. But trust me when I say, I'm not going to tell a soul."

"Fine. But you're coming back first thing in the morning."

"Fine."

* * *

"Well well, what do we have here?"

The man loomed over her bed, teeth bared. Even in the black of night she could recognize him. Especially with that voice. The cold eyes. The tattoo of her name on his left hand. The look of hate and power in his stance.

"How did you get in here?" she managed. "W-who let you in?"

"Don't you know you can't hide from us, Bitch? From me?"

Slowly she stood from the bed, stepping around him. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You're sorry?" he laughed, mania in the sound. "Oh you'll be sorry. You seem to have forgotten what sorry looks like." He took a step toward her. "I'll make you remember."

She tried to run. To get away. She screamed out for someone. Anyone. But no one answered. No lights came on. Finding her way down the stairs, Y/N's foot caught something causing her to fall. Her hands, which had caught her before she could hit the ground grew warm and wet. She could smell the faint hint of metal. Quickly figuring out what was behind her she didn't dare look back. She didn't want to know who he had killed to get to her. She couldn't handle it.

Not right now.

Hearing his steps behind her, laid her body down among the others, hoping to blend in. Hoping he'd pass her over. She tried not to retch as she held her breath, face in a warm puddle of blood.

He walked right past her, heading toward the back of the house. She let out a small relieve sigh as she waited and pushed herself up, running for the front door. She found the handle, ignoring her confusion at the lock being intact.

Opening the door, she began to step out. Only to feel his grasp around her throat.

* * *

When she returned the next day her stress levels were at an all time high. She'd woken from her sleep, drenched in sweat and her sheets soiled. At her age, she had wet the bed for the first time since she was four. It wasn't exactly a wonderful start to her morning. The bags under her eyes was proof that she hadn't gotten back to sleep.

Now it was mid afternoon and she was pacing back and forth across the lot. She'd already swept, cleaned the bathrooms and dusted everything twice. Half-Sack was desperate to make her sit down.

"Y/N/N," he begged as she made another circle. "I need you to relax.

"I am relaxed," she lied, biting her thumb nail. "When do you think they'll be back?"

The day had been a constant cycle of her and Chibs just missing each other. She was out, he was in. She was in, he was out. Her nightmares and his inadvertent evasion were adding to a whole new pile of anxiety that she had tried to avoid. How in the hell was she supposed to relax when she could still feel his grip on her? His breath.

She needed to find Chibs. To tell him that she couldn't do this. That she was leaving. She didn't have the money but it didn't matter. She wasn't safe in Charming. She wasn't safe anywhere.

Maybe, just maybe she was better off dead.

"Hey Y/E/C Eyes," Gemma called, snapping her out of her thought process. "What's the matter with you?"

"She's been like this all day," Half mumbled to her. "I can't get her to sit still for more than two minutes."

Frustrated, Gemma walked over and placed a hand on each one of the Y/S/T woman's shoulders, noting the slight flinch when she did so. "He's fine. There's nothing for your to worry about." She watched as Y/N nodded and continued on with her nail biting. "Come on."

"What?" Y/N asked

"You're almost out of nail. You're comin' with me and Tara to run some errands. Keep your mind busy."

It wasn't so much an invitation as it was an order. She knew it by the look she was given when she tried to speak.

"Prospect you're with us."

Placing an arm around her shoulders, Half-Sack hugged her into his side. "It'll be fine Y/N/N. They know what they're doing."

She didn't want to admit that his safety was only part of her worry. The rest was her good-bye.

"You have kids? Want 'em?" Gemma inquired as Tara drove to the market, watching in the rearview as Y/N played with Abel.

Biting her lip, a look of sadness flashed across her face before she hid it. "No. No, I don't think I'll have any."

Neither Tara or Gemma missed the way the woman's smile returned as soon as she looked at the baby once more. The two old lady's shared a mutual look before Tara parked and they exited the Cutlass.

"Is it just me," Tara whispered to the older of the women as Y/N found herself in a small discussion with Half-Sack, "or is there something a little...off about her?"

"Chibs can never pick a normal woman," Gemma smirked, walking into the store with the other two women following behind her.

It was mostly baby food they picked up, Y/N noticed as they walked through the small market, stopping here and there occasionally to pick up some toothpaste or shampoo. And through the small trip, she'd managed to relax, occupying her mind making faces at Abel as he sat in the cart. It was nice to not think about what it was Chibs was doing. She wasn't worried about who could be watching her right that very minute. She was calm.

Something she hadn't been in years.

When they'd walked outside, the mechanic helped secure the baby into his carseat as Gemma browsed some fruit outside the store doors and Tara finished putting away the bags she'd gathered. All in all, it had been a good evening. But she knew it wasn't going to last much longer. Once Clay and the others returned, she'd give her two week's notice and go from there. See what the next town had to offer. Maybe then she could get some sleep.

Tara and Gemma entered the car, sitting in the opposite seats they had on the way there. The car wasn't started and both SAMCRO women stared out the window tension immediately filling the space they all occupied.

"That blonde," Tara spoke. "She's the one you chased. Who is she Gemma?"

Y/N was confused. Clearly there was more to this conversation. Some backstory that she didn't know. All she could do was sit in her seat and try to see who they were looking at.

"Zobelle's daughter, Gemma answered. "She's the one that told me her baby was choking. Hit me over the head." Turning the key in the ignition, she shifted the car into drive.

"Where are we going?"

"Forward sweetheart."

And just like that, Y/N suddenly felt her earlier ease disappear as they drove off, Half-Sack trailing behind them.

* * *

After it seemed like the ride would never end, they finally slowed to a crawl, Gemma putting the car in park.

"What are we doing here, Gemma?" Tara asked, caution in her voice.

But the mother figure didn't answer. She watched out the window again, parking as Polly Zobelle put a sweater on.

"That rape would've destroyed most women, but it made you stronger, wiser, compassionate. Whatever it is that you think you have to do, you're past it."

"Rape?" Y/N straightened up.

Gemma looked back at the spare woman in the car, deciding she didn't care if she knew, before putting eyes on the Zobelle girl again. "My son. My husband. Their brothers. They're out there risking their lives, their freedom for me. This is how I do my part. God's put her in my path so I can fix that part of me that they ripped open. I'm supposed to do this."

"Jesus," Tara gasped. "Do you even hear what you're saying?"

"Yeah," Y/N agreed, putting the pieces together. "I don't think God works that way…"

Gemma rolled her eyes before turning to Tara. "Get my grandson home safe. Love you Tara. I'm glad you're with my boy." She looked to Y/N. "You I'm not too sure about yet."

"Gemma," the doctor begged. "Please don't do this."

"I'll be okay," the older woman assured, kissing her cheek. "I'll be okay."

Suddenly, she got out of the car, following the young blonde as she walked down the street. Tara and Y/N stepped out into the street, watching her go as they met Half in the middle.

"Hey," the prospect nodded. "Where's she going?"

Tara didn't answer. Instead, she told him, "Stay here. She may need to get out fast."

"Oh shit."

 _Shit indeed._

* * *

Back at Jax's house, Y/N helped as Tara gathered bottles and stuff for Abel.

"Should we really have let her fight that girl?" she asked.

"Fight?" Tara scoffed.

"Well she's not going to kill her," the woman chuckled. But it died off when Tara gave a somber look. "Fuck. She's going to kill her?" The sudden need to vomit entered her. "Shit," she clasped her hand over her mouth. "I need to use the bathroom."

Not waiting for direction she ran down the hall. Only after emptying the contents of her stomach did she close and lock the door. "Get it together," she chastised herself, staring at her reflection in the mirror before going to throw up again.

When she could finally get her feet underneath her again, she stood, washing her hands and splashing her face with water.

"Sit!"

She jumped at the sound of a man's voice, knocking over some of Tara's beauty products on the counter. Cleaning up, she slowly stepped away as not to disturb the bottles again and made her way down the hallway.

Immediately her eyes took in the scene. A man was hovering over Abel, knife and gun in hand.

"Son for a Son," he spoke in a thick Irish accent. "Seems about right."

"No!" Half-Sack shouted lunging forward just as she and Tara did the same.

Tara's cries suddenly mixed with the gurgling of her friend choking on his own blood. Gasping for air as the knife found itself twisted in his abdomen. When the prospect fell to the ground, she went for the baby. "Put him down you bastard!"

The man didn't bother stabbing her. Instead he smacked her across the head with the butt of the gun, causing her to fall. Her vision blurred. She could feel warmth under her head but she couldn't tell if it was her own or if she had landed in Kip's. She made to sit up, only to be kicked down again. Her head hit the ground this time and everything went black.

Her eyes opened to find Chibs looming over her and Half's bodies, sadness etched into every single part of his face.

"Abel," she managed before going into the darkness again.

* * *

She awoke to the beeping of a monitor and a too-clean smelling room. Sitting up, she tried to pull the needle from her hand, only to have a pale one come down on hers. She looked up to find a cop at her bedside.

"What's going on? Is Kip okay? Did he -"

Her questions were cut off by the look the officer shared offered her.

"No. No he's not dead. He can't…"

"I'll go tell one of the nurses you're awake. If you don't mind I'd like to ask you some questions."

"Questions?" But the woman was already gone. "Where is the baby?" she called out, tears forming in her eyes. "No. No. No."

"Miss Y/L/N?"

Y/N looked up to see a nurse in the doorway standing with a shorter woman. "Margaret? What are you doing here?"

"I work here," the older woman spoke, concern morphing her brows. "Nurse Teele is going to look after you. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell. We're watching for bleeding and any other issues that may arise."

"Other issues?"

"The police would also like to ask you some questions about what happened."

"I don't know what happened! No one is telling me anything."

"Miss Y/L/N," Nurse Teele inhaled, "I'm going to need you to calm down."

"Someone please just tell me what the hell is going on."

Suddenly a man walked it. She could tell by his uniform that he was a cop. His nameplate said his name was Deputy Chief Hale. His eyes were kind and his voice even. "If you could ladies could give me a moment.

A moment later it was just the two of them in the room. He closed the door. "I'm sorry," he sympathized, grabbing a chair and sitting beside the bed. "Tara told us everything. We just need to ask you some things just in case you remember something she doesn't. She's a little shaken up. As I'm sure you are."

"Is Abel dead too?" Y/N asked, looking him in the eyes.

"We don't know. The man who killed Edward Epps -"

"Half," she corrected. "Half-Sack. No one calls...called him Edward. Didn't even know that was his first name to be honest."

"Right. Again, I'm sorry."

"You didn't kill him."

"Right. The man that killed...Half-Sack, he kidnapped Abel Teller. We haven't found either one of them yet."

"So Abel could be alive?"

"That's what we're hoping for, yes."

"Please find him. Whatever you do. Please find him."

* * *

 **A/N:** Hope you all enjoyed chapter five. I am so thrilled that you guys are reading and liking what I've written. I will try to have chapter six up soon so bare with me. Please. I'm begging you, haha. Anyways I want to thank yo for reading. I really do appreciate it. As per usual, you can find my fandoms and ships in my bio. Comments are much appreciated. I love your feedback. If you have a request, you can always direct message me here on fanfiction.

TTFN,

Ana


	6. The Wake

**A/N:** Sorry it took so long to upload this chapter. But yes, work is going well. That's why it was taking so long. I've been covering other people's shifts like crazy so I wasn't home as often. I had a day off today and did this entire chapter. I'm trying to keep it more of the reader's POV but there might some parts where you do get to see more from Chibs perspective. Let me know which ones you prefer. Thank you so much for reading and I really hope you enjoy this chapter.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor am I affiliated with any SOA creators or merchandise. All characters, settings and events belong to their respective owners.

* * *

 **Six: The Wake**

Chibs had been avoiding her. Ever since he found her and Sack, he hadn't said a word to her. Hadn't been to visit. In fact no one had. They all blamed her and she knew it. Hell, she could see how they would. She could've grabbed the gun from him while he was busy digging his knife into the prospects gut. She could've grabbed another knife. Taken him on.

So many scenarios were running around in her head. She could've saved Abel. She could've helped Sack. But she didn't do anything. Instead, she laid in his blood, out cold because she couldn't take a hit to the head.

The irony, she scoffed at herself as the nurse brought in her paperwork.

"You get to go home today," the man smiled. "Bet you're glad to hear that, huh?"

I don't have a home. But she wouldn't say that outloud. "Best news I had all week," she answered, putting her best effort in to provide him with a grin just as wide.

"A friend of yours brought you some clothes to wear when you leave. We had to dispose of yours. I put them in your drawer earlier when you were sleeping."

"A friend?"

"Someone from the garage you work at I guess…He's missing a few uh…fingers."

Chucky, she thought. At least one person wasn't pissed at her.

"Now we did contact your partner the night you were admitted but he was apparently away for business."

"Partner?" Her blood went cold. She could feel each individual hair stand up on her body as the monitor picked up with the beating of her heart.

"Your emergency contact. He was located in North Carolina. Is everything alright?"

"Yes. Everything's fine." Calm down. In. Out. Breathe.

"Alright then. Now I would suggest you updating your contacts to people within the area that way if you were ever in a situation where you needed someone they could be here."

"Will do."

"Excellent. So we are going to prescribe you some medications. Very simple. Just Advil and such. But other than that, we want you to avoid strenuous activity and sexual activity. It's also recommended that you avoid reading and get plenty of rest. Maybe take a few days off of work. Avoid computer screens and things like that. I would also suggest no visitors. Like I said, you need all the rest you can get."

"So pretty much lay in bed doing nothing all day," she sighed. "You've got it."

"Great. Alright, so I'll leave you to get dressed. You can ring the button when you're ready to be escorted."

She nodded as he disconnected her from wires and needles. When he left, she dressed in a hurry. She was going to have to leave as soon as possible. Change how she looked. If he showed up before she got a chance to get out of town, she would have to blend in.

* * *

Two boxes of (blonde/red/black) hair dye later, she found herself knocking at the door of Jax Teller. She had found herself feeling guilty and as a result had made a lasagna as a small apology. She was about to just leave it on the step when the door suddenly opened.

"Now's not a good time," Chibs muttered, stepping outside, closing the door behind him.

"I know. I just figured they probably weren't up for cooking so I made them something. Well Chuckie helped. I stopped by TM to talk to Clay but no one was there so I just started baking. I hope that's alright."

"Y/N. You have to go."

"I know," she nodded, ignoring the hurt that caused her chest to strain. "C-can you just make sure they get this?"

"Aye," he took the tray from her, noting that it was still warm. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Tell them I'm sorry. About everything."

He gave a small nod of his head as she began to walk away. "Your hair. Why did you-"

"I have to go Chibs."

He was confused. He knew she had to leave. He had just told her that. But why did her eyes look so sad?

* * *

The clubhouse was still empty and she was trying to keep her mind busy. So while she waited for Clay to show up, she took to cleaning with Chuckie. He did most of the talking, so it made conversation easy. And despite herself, she felt safer with him around. She didn't want to be alone. It wasn't until she had stood up from using the dustpan that the vertigo hit her.

"You okay?" the two-fingered man voiced in concern, placing his arms around her shoulders to steady her.

"Yeah." She shook her head as if to orient herself again. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" He studied her face. "I mean do you need to go back to ST. Thomas? 'Cause I can drive you."

"I said I was fine!" Guilt filled her when she read his expression. "I'm sorry. I've just...I've got a lot on my mind I guess. I shouldn't take it out on you."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered, pulling out a barstool.

She sat, figuring she should at least do that. "Everything is falling apart man."

The man sat down beside her. "How so?"

"Abel for one. Sack. I don't know what Chibs and I are if we're even anything except I'll probably never know because we aren't really talking. Everyone's pissed at me. I'm pissed at me..." My ex might be coming to murder me. "I just don't know how to deal with all. How would you handle it."

He ignored the fact that he noticed her hesitation, figuring whatever she was hiding, she would say when she was ready. "I accept them."

"Just like that, huh?"

"Just like that," he shrugged.

"How can you be okay with things not being the way that they should?"

"If everything was perfect, and nothing ever went wrong, there'd be no point in living. You wouldn't learn anything. Wouldn't be as thankful for the things that went right. So when something doesn't go to plan, you accept it. Take what you can from it and move on."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Well I've had my fair share of things going wrong. I think it's made me better. And it's all worked out in the end." He watched as she nodded, her eyes cast downward. "You want some tea or somethin'?

The left corner of her lip twitched upward, just slightly. "I'd love some."

* * *

When Unser pulled up, asking her to come to the station, she was a little more than puzzled, informing that she had already given her statement. But soon, she grew downright irritated when a familiar face greeted her in the interrogation room.

"Stahl," she bared her teeth.

"Sunshine," the ATF agent greeted, patting the table. "Why don't you take a seat."

"I'd rather stand."

"Fine. Pass out if you want to but you're still going to have to tell me what happened when you come to again."

"I already told Hale what happened."

"I know. Just a little fact-checking. We keep separate reports, you see."

Y/N wasn't buying it. She could tell by the smirk the woman wore that she was grasping at straws. Rolling her eyes, she sat, crossing her arms over her chest. "Let's get this over with. I've got things to do."

"Like quit your job? Yeah," I heard they contacted your boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. First him and now Telford. You must have a type."

"How the hell would you know anything about that?"

"I'm a fed. People will tell me practically anything. And if they won't rest assured, I can get the information on my own."

Her cheeks reddened. The last thing she needed was a bitch like Stahl using her past mistakes as a weapon. "Then you of all people should know that I can't let him find me. He's not exactly a nice guy."

"Which is why I want to help you. You tell me everything you know and I will arrange for you to be moved to a safe location."

"But you already know everything. I told them that the only thing I know is the dude was Irish. I had been using the bathroom. He was I heard him shout for Tara and Sack to sit down. I tried to see what was going on. He tried to hurt Abel. We all jumped up. He was angry, but it was more like a sadness. He stabbed Half-Sack and knocked me out. When I woke up I was in the hospital and they told me he had taken Abel. I can't tell you anything else, because I honestly don't know anything else."

"I don't believe you. This was retaliation and you know it."

"What you think I somehow came up with a cover story while I was out cold?"

"I think you're afraid of what will happen to you if SAMCRO finds out you ratted on them. But I'd be more afraid of what your vengeful lover is going to do when he finds you."

Her brow furrowed, trying to think clearly. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes and she tried to blink them away. "I don't know what else to tell you. I really don't."

"Think."

Y/N sniffed, finally understanding. "You want me lie. Either way I end up dead but you'll get what you want to hear."

"And what is it that I would like to hear exactly." The suit-clad woman leaned forward, licking her bottom lip.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, the younger woman mimicked her movement. "I. Don't. Know. Shit. Now am I being detained or can I go?"

Glaring, Stahl clenched her jaw. "We're finished here."

"Great." She tried to ignore the feeling that came with standing too fast as she walked away from the table, knocking on the door to be let out.

She was in the parking lot when she practically ran into Tara.

When she realized who it was, her eyes softened. "I'm so sorry, Tara."

"I know," the pale women bit.

She had expected anger. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No."

And just like that, she was gone, vanishing within the confines of the station.

* * *

She'd contemplated not going. She didn't want to have to see him, lying there in that casket. Surrounded by all those who'd loved him. Hearing the cries and questions of why it had been him. But that would've been an insult. He'd made her feel welcome since day one. He'd died because of her. The least she could do was go to his wake.

She was walking to the site trying to navigate the street names when she heard the now-familiar purr of a motorcycle.

"Do you need a ride, Lass?" Chibs offered over the noise of his engine.

"I'm fine," she declined.

He was frustrated. He had figured out what she had meant earlier; about how she had to go. She was pulling herself away. She was going to leave first chance. And he knew why.

She blamed herself.

But that didn't mean she was allowed to mope around in self-pity. "The least you could do is arrive to the wake on time after getting him killed!"

She rounded on him, like he had hoped. At least know they weren't going to tip-toe around the subject. Around each other.

"Like I don't already feel bad enough!" she glared. "You think I haven't replayed that whole night in my head over and over? A thousand times! Thinking of all the things I could've done differently? I watched the kid take his last breath! He could still be here! Abel could still be here if I had done something!"

Chibs, turned off his bike, parking it by the curb and walking to stand in front of her. "You didn't kill him."

He tried to envelope her in his arms only to be pushed away. He could see the anger in her eyes. The hurt. Everything she was feeling, he could see it.

"If you thought that then why the hell would you say that to me?"

"I figured if you got how you felt off your chest then it wouldn't hurt as much."

"I'm not down for the mind games Chibs."

"I know. I'm sorry. But we really are going to be late. Are you sure you don't want a ride?"

She shifted her weight. "Fine."

* * *

They arrived at the site to see a bunch of people gathering. Walking in and out to pay their respects. She got off the bike only to wobble a bit, swaying until Chibs steadied her by the elbow.

"I'm alright," she told him before he could ask. She could see the worry on his face. "Let's go."

She was thankful for the closed casket. Though maybe that was selfish of her. But every time she closed her eyes she saw him gasping for air. She didn't actually want to see his lifeless body. Not when he wouldn't be wearing his goofy smile. Dead and in makeup.

Y/N kneeled in front of the casket praying under her breath. "I think you're up there. If all this is real...if you're real...just please let him be at peace. He's a good guy. Tell him I'm sorry. Amen…"

Chibs helped her up and she watched as he prayed, using his beads to cross over his body before he put his arm around her, and led them outside.

"Thank you for the ride," she whispered.

"What? Is this dinner all over again?"

She chuckled. "Minus the food, I guess."

He smiled, running his hands up and down her arms. "Stay with me tonight."

"I can't," she shook her head. "Curfew. I'm not allowed to stay out."

"You're a grown woman. You've the right to sleep where you want."

"It's more complicated than that. I don't want to move to fast."

"Why not. It's not like you won't be leaving. You said you had to go," he answered when her mouth opened just slightly. "You just didn't think I'd get the real meaning behind it. I know why women go into those shelters, Y/N/N. Has he found you?"

"The hospital called him," she admitted, looking at the ground. "I hadn't gotten around to changing my contacts. He knows where I am. I have to go."

"He won't hurt you." He lifted her chin so that her eyes met his. "Let me protect you."

"You need to protect yourself."

"Why?"

"Stahl questioned me today. She tried to get me to lie for her. Say what happened was payback for something the club did."

"It was. Sort of. Gemma's been framed. But Stahl's just trying to cover her own ass. I'll explain later. But you aren't going anywhere. I'll keep you safe. I promise."

"Chibs. What are -"

Her words were cut off by the sound of multiple gunshots. She suddenly found her body being pinned to the ground. "Stay down. Find cover," the scotsman instructed, removing his body from hers.

She did as she was told, turning onto her stomach and attempted to low crawl somewhere she could hide. Another shot rang out, causing her to panic, curling into a ball on her side, whimpering with her hands covering her ears and eyes shut tight.

"Dad," she cried.

When they'd finally managed to pull Jax off of one of the shooters, Chibs found her curled up crying. She was muttering under her breath.

"Daddy no. Dad."

"Y/N/N," he called, kneeling down beside her. "Y/N" he tried, shaking her when she didn't answer.

"Daddy!" Her eyes opened, and she took in her surroundings. "Chibs," she blubbered, moving her face into his chest before sobbing uncontrollably.

* * *

 **A/N:** Anyway's I really hope you enjoyed this latest piece. I really wanted to get this one right and really set things into motion here. I don't know if I said this, but I am trying to keep everything as in line with the show as possible. So I am still trying to find ways to tie in the events that surround the reader (which is also why I try to keep in in her POV and have her kind of do one-on-one interactions rather than big group scenes where I have to use original dialogue like the last chapter because that was just hectic). You reading this means so much. And thank you to all of those that have added Broken to your favorites or alerts. It really does warm my heart.

Best of Wishes,

Ana


	7. Coffee Bitch

**A/N:** Thank you guy so much for reading!

 **Notes:** Hen is a Scottish term of endearmeant used towards a female. It's basically like calling them "love".

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. All rights go to their respective owners.

* * *

 **Seven: Coffee Bitch**

He'd never wanted to smack the back of someone's head so badly before. Stubborn. That's what the woman was. She didn't listen. After spending the rest of the night in the hospital making sure she wasn't going to slip into a coma, Chibs, took Y/N back to Teller-Morrow.

"Are you alright?" he asked, plopping her down onto one of the couches in the clubhouse. He sighed when she didn't respond. "You're not staying at the shelter anymore. I spoke to the lady that runs it. Best way to keep you safe is keeping you here."

She looked down at the ground, seeing something he couldn't. Her cheeks were stained from the tears she'd shed. Her hair still had grass in it. "I'm going to get a beer," she mumbled, standing.

"You can't drink with a concussion or the Advil," he reminded, stepping in front of her.

"So what, you're a doctor now?"

"No. But I've had my fair share of blows to the head to know better."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Damn it Y/N! Sit down!"

His tone struck fear into her. Immediately, she placed herself back onto the couch. "I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry," he sighed, sitting beside her. "I'm just worried about you. You need to listen to the doctors otherwise you'll be back in the hospital."

"I know." She ran a tired hand over her face, leaving it there.

"Eventually we're going to have to talk about what that was back there."

"In time. I kind of just want to take a nap."

"Good. You need your rest. I'll have Piney show you to my room. He's going to keep an eye on you. Make sure you don't do anything you're not supposed to."

"So now I need a babysitter?" She rolled her eyes.

"Until you prove otherwise." Moving her hand from her face, Chibs looked her in the eye. "It's for your own good. Stay out of trouble, hen."

Kissing her head, he stood, walking outside to go leave with Clay, Opie and Bobby.

* * *

She was on edge. She had managed to sleep a good portion of the day away. But now she was awake and her mind needed to be occupied. All she could think about was how any day now, she could be face to face with the very man she was hiding from. If she stayed, that risk increased.

But she didn't want to leave Filip. And that scared her.

So, instead of thinking about him while laying in a bed that smelled of his bodywash, she'd taken to harassing Piney. Partially to ease her mind, but mostly out of boredom.

"Come on, at least let me do a diag tomorrow." Y/N begged, following the old man around the clubhouse "Please, Piney."

"You're on bedrest," he huffed, taking a hit from his oxygen tank.

"I've been resting all day. I'm tired of resting. I need to do something. I promise, I'll be good. I won't lift anything heavy. I won't hit my head. I'll even be your servant for a week. Please."

"That little pout may work on the Scot," he chuckled shaking his head, "but it don't do much for me."

"I'm bored."

"Tell you what. You can answer phones. Book appointments and such."

"You want me to be a secretary?" she grimaced. "Am I gonna be coffee bitch too?"

"Take it or leave it, sweetheart."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she bit her lip just slightly. "Fine."

She looked over when the door opened to reveal Jax, Juice, Bobby and Clay along with Chibs and a bald man she didn't recognize. She wanted to sass him. Prove that she could stay out of trouble. But she could tell by all of their faces that they'd had a long day searching for Abel.

"You boys want anything to drink?" she tried instead, offering a small smile.

"No thanks, darlin," Bobby smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder as they walked into the meeting room.

"I'll be back in a little while," Chibs whispered, stroking her cheek before following his brothers.

* * *

She was polishing the bar when they came back out, Chibs walking directly over to her. "You're supposed to be relaxing," he chastised lightly, walking over to her and placing his hands on her hips.

"Using a rag is not going to put me into the hospital, Telford. Besides, I stayed in bed all day, you can ask my keeper."

She turned away from him. Just slightly. But it was enough for him to notice that she was avoiding his touch.

"It's true," Piney sighed from his seat. "Though she still managed to get on my nerves."

Chibs nodded to him before turning his lips to Y/N's ear. "We need to talk."

Taking her head, he lead her back to his room, locking the door behind them so they wouldn't be interrupted. "Can you not even look at me?" he demanded, when she wouldn't face him. "Are you that angry I made you take a break?"

She sat on the loveseat placed in the corner of the room. "It's not that. I promise. I like you, Chibs. I mean I really really, really like you. Like I wanna ride you like every time I see you. And I'm falling for you. But I can't trust you. I can't trust anyone. So I don't."

He sat beside her, though he did scoot over slightly to giver her some space. "Why is it so hard for your to trust me?"

"Because they last time… The last time I trusted someone - loved someone - it bit me in the ass."

He wanted to ask her what she meant. But he didn't need to.

"Remember when I told you my parents died?"

"Aye," he nodded.

"My parents were killed in a drive-by. We were walking to the car after family night and got caught in the crossfire. They both jumped in front of me. It messed me up," she admitted. "That's why I reacted so badly at Half's…." She let herself trail off before shaking her head. "A few months after the funeral I started dating this guy named Andre. He started off sweet. Supportive."

"What changed?" Chibs only asked to prompt her. He had an idea as to where this was going but, he could see she needed the encouragement to continue.

"He hurt me. Over and over. I tried to leave. I did. But he would just find me again. It went on for a couple years before I actually got away.." She took a deep breath. "My brother wouldn't help me. He thought I was lying. They were friends -that's actually how we met - and he thought I was making it up. That I was crazy. I think he just didn't want to admit he had set up his sister with a prick like that."

He watched her as she spoke, noting how her eyes seemed far away as she watched something across the room. He hated the way her bottom lip shook just slightly.

"I couldn't go to the cops," She laughed but he knew it was out of bitterness. Just as soon as her laughter died down, her face grew serious again. "He's a weapons dealer. I could be killed no problem. Then I found out it was his guns that got my parents killed in the first place. He was going away for two months. Some cruise with the rest of his guys. So I gave myself two weeks. Told my boss I was leaving. Collected my pay for that. Sold everything I owned. My car. My parents cars and got the hell out of there. I chose Charming because I thought he'd never come looking for me here."

"Does your brother know you're here?"

"I don't know. We don't talk. Andre might of told him."

"Did he…Andre..."

She could tell where he was getting out. "No. God no. He barely even wanted sex. Had other women for that. The fact that he's not a rapist is his only redeeming trait." Tears flooded her vision as she tried not to look at him. "I can't have kids because of him, you know. I wanted like ten. Now I can't have any. That's what hurts the most."

"I'm sorry he did that, Y/N. But I'm not him. You've got to know that. Please, don't run."

She looked over at him, blushing when he wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. "I'm scared."

"I'm not going to let him hurt you. I'll kill him myself if I have to."

"I don't want you killing anyone. Especially not for me."

"Fine," he lied, knowing that he probably would anyhow. "But I can't help you unless you tell me the truth from now on. No more running away. Deal?"

"Deal."

Moving closer, she kissed him before shifting to lay her head on his chest. Chibs leaned back with a sigh of contentment on his lips, losing his fingers in her hair as they both drifted to sleep.

* * *

"I love the bandana," Y/N teased as she neared the garage entrance.

"You're supposed to be answering phones," Chibs nagged, pecking her lips.

"I've been relieved for lunch. Wanna head down to the diner with me? My treat."

"Oh you're treating me now? What's the catch?"

"No catch. Just figured I'd feed you since you didn't have breakfast this morning." Hooking her fingers in his pocket, she pulled out the pack of smokes she'd seen him stash earlier. "What do ya say?"

"Ah," he warned, plucking the box from her hand and pulling out one for himself. "You're not allowed."

"Just one."

"You don't even smoke."

"I know but I need something to take the edge off. If I hear that phone one more time."

"See I knew there was a reason you were so keen to take me out," he joked, handing her his zippo so she could light it for him while he wiped off his hands.

She complied, watching as the end of the cigarette lit up with his inhale. "Who's that?" she asked, when Clay and Piney started making their way towards a woman in a blue top and skirt.

"Lowen. Our legal counselor," he muttered, following the other two bikers with her beside him.

"Well that doesn't seem concerning at all."

"Counselor," Clay greeted. "Where's your partner?"

"Rosen's in court," the woman sighed. "Wanted me to talk to you in person."

"That don't sound good."

"It's not, sweetheart. Charming City Council put a motion before the SanWa judge. Won a new bail hearing in the assault case."

"Shit!" Turning Clay walked away, leaving his brothers and Y/N standing.

"Yeah," Chibs spoke up, tossing his cig on the ground stomping it out. "Well what does that mean?"

The woman gave him a somber look. "It means everyone goes back inside until trial."

"Why? What did we do?"

"The attack at the wake," Piney reminded.

"That's right," the woman agreed as Clay came back. "They're saying your criminal enterprises instigated the retaliation."

"Yeah."

"Jacob Hale," Clay muttered.

"Guy's a prick," Lowen offered. "Got a big axe and he's grinding it."

"I picked up that this morning's a Floyd's" Piney supplied. "The town's pissed."

Y/N placed a tentative hand on Chib's arm as he wrung his cloth in his hands.

"What happens we don't show?" Clay asked.

"The longer you're in the wind, the more time it adds. Hundred and eighty days before your bail is forfeited."

"When's the hearing?"

"Friday. Need a heads up either way. Sorry fellas. This spun my head, too."

She walked away with a shake of her head, leaving the four of them standing in confusion.

Chibs placed an arm around Y/N's shoulders. "Sorry Y/N/N."

"It's fine," she assured, pretending she hadn't just heard the woman say that he would be going to jail. "We can take a rain check. You've got more important stuff to worry about. I'll just grab you somethin'."

He nodded, his eye apologetic. "Thank you."

* * *

"How do you feel about Canada?"

It was later in the night, after the boys had gotten out of church and come up with a plan on how to find Abel. After Relaying Y/N's situation to the club, he thought it best to bring her along. Now he just had to convince her.

Y/N sat up from her position on the bed where she was lotioning her body after her shower. Her brow furrowed as her eyes followed him across the room where he sat across from her on the loveseat. "What?"

"We're going there to find Abel. Keep Gemma in hiding. I want you to come with us. Andre won't look for you there."

"You said I was safe here," she groaned as he began to take off his boots.

"I said you were safe with me. I can't protect you if I'm not here."

She sighed watching as he placed his Kutte on the arm of the couch before standing and removing his shirt. "What about the hearing?"

"Screw the hearing. Jax is going to need help. We're not going to lt him go it alone."

"Even if that means more time in jail for running?"

"Even if," he concluded as be emptied his pockets and shimmied out of his pants.

"Do I even have a choice?"

"You can either go willingly or I can drag you there myself," he smiled. "Course I thought I'd be polite and ask which you prefer."

"How gentlemanly," she said with a roll of her Y/E/C eyes. "I'll go. You gonna keep stripping?"

He walked over to her, holding his face just centimeters from her neck as he placed his weight on top of her. She could feel his breath making her skin moist, the act dampening her below the waist. "When I get to the shower."

With that, he pulled away from her, laughing outright when she tossed a pillow at his retreating back.

"Tease."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you guys so much for reading. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Getting closer and closer to finding Abel so bear with me. As always, I do take requests and you can find fandoms listed in my bio. I love hearing back from you guys, so if you have any pointers that would be great!

Lots of Love,

Ana


	8. Shit

**A/N:** Another longer chapter! Again sorry this one took so long. I wanted to get this right. It was also a little more difficult because I was trying to get the dialogue from the show word for word. That being said, all of the xReader lines are original however there is a good bit of dialogue from the actual show. Those who watched the show (and I'm assuming that anyone part of the SOA fandom has) should be able to recognize it fairly easily.

I also wanted to include a little more interaction with Tig because he's one of my favorite characters so why not. TigxReader friendship. Yay!

Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read the story and add it to your alerts. It means a lot to know that people out there are actually reading. Though it's not one of my actual stories, there is still a good amount of effort going into these chapters.

 **Fun Fact:** This chapter was originally titled Not Your Old Lady. But I changed it, because I felt that it fit better. Should I have kept it?

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. All characters, settings and dialogue are the sole property of the their creators.

* * *

 **Eight: Shit!**

 _Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep!_

After an awkward first night sharing a be, Y/N awoke with a heavy arm around her waist and a nose pressed into her hair. Come to find out Chibs was a snuggler. Slowly, she slid out from underneath him, smiling down at his sleeping face before turning off the alarm clock and removing herself from the bed.

"Gonna love me and leave me?" she heard him mumbled as she pulled on a pair of jeans. She turned as he sat up in the bed, watching her. "You're off today."

"I'm heading down to St. Thomas to meet with Margaret. Make sure she knows I'm alright."

"You could just call her," he yawned.

"Don't have a cell phone."

"Take one of my burners," Chibs offered, running a hand through his hair as she slid a bra on under the shirt she'd borrowed from him.

"The fact that you have more than one burner phone is a little concerning."

"Just take one, Y/N/N. Top left drawer."

Following his instructions, she opened the drawer. Inside a picture of a woman and young girl stared up at her. "You have a daughter?" she questioned with a smile, holding up the photo.

He made his way to her, looking over her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Aye. That's my Kerrianne."

"And you wife?"

"Fiona. It's complicated. She's married to the man that did this." He pointed to his cheek. "Jealous."

"You wish, Telford." She placed the picture back in the drawer before picking up one of the phones.

"Let's get some breakfast," he spoke, kissing her cheek.

* * *

"Porn party?" Y/N demanded when Juice let the clubs latest funding plan slip.

"You're in trouble now," Chucky teased only to receive a dark look from the Scotsman.

"It's not like that," Chibs assured her. "It's mainly Caracara girls. Strictly business."

"Right. Watching porn is one thing. Pretending to be in one is totally different."

"It's not us that'll be doing the pretending."

"Oh I'm definitely doing some pretending," grinned Juice. His smile quickly disappeared when her earned two glares. "I'm gonna...go take a leak. Be somewhere else."

"Are you serious right now?" Y/N hissed, when the Puerto Rican was gone, her tea long forgotten.

"I'm just going to be a wingman for Bobby. Nothing more. And it'll help get Abel back."

"Do I look stupid to you?"

"No. But you're not my old lady so it's really none of your business."

Her eyes widened. "Oh," she nodded, standing from her stool. "Well thanks for clearing that up."

"Y/N/N."

"No. You're right. I'm not your old lady. Sorry I thought my opinion actually mattered to you." She headed for the exit, fighting the urge to look away from the door and back into those brown eyes.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. Have fun tonight, yeah?"

* * *

They sat in the hospital cafeteria. Margaret with a coffee and Y/N pushing what she thought was supposed to be scrambled eggs around on her plate. Her eyes were red from rubbing away the tears.

"I'm being stupid. I know he's doing it for Jax. For Abel. But it still pisses me off."

"Why does it make you angry?"

"It feels too much like cheating. I don't know. Andre did. And I know he says that it's not like that. But what if it is? What if one of those girls decides she wants him?"

"Then you've either got to leave. Or trust him enough to say no. If you don't trust him, there's no point in being with him."

"So you're not going to tell me to leave him?"

"I'm going to tell you to do what you feel is right. Be with him if you want to. If it turns out badly, there's always the shelter. Or my place if you don't feel comfortable staying there anymore. I'm not going to say I told you so. Just give it a few days. See how things go."

Y/N nodded. "You should've been a shrink."

* * *

They'd been back for almost an hour. She was stuck at the bar pouring drinks for the guys and avoiding Chibs who was avoiding her.

Despite having time to cool down, his words still hurt. Seeing him made her want to nothing more than to toss a drink in his face. Especially when that Ima bitch was all over him. She tried to remember Margaret's advice. To trust him. But she could feel her hands shaking.

Instead of acting on her anger, she decided to join Juice on the plaid couch, rolling her eyes when the pornstar started her flirtations with Jax.

"Is sex all you guys can think about?" she sighed to the mohawked man who was staring intently at his computer screen.

"I'm single," Juice supplied. "So that'd be a yes for me."

She scoffed, scooting closer to look at what he seemed so interested in. "What are you doing anyway, kid?"

"I think I'm a little older than you," he chuckled.

"Age wise," she teased. "You're a kid at heart."

Chibs watched as the two mingles, watching whatever was on the screen with fascination. He couldn't help the sick feeling rising in his gut. He knew it was harmless, their exchange. And he sure as hell knew Juice wasn't that stupid. But that didn't stop the possessiveness from creeping into him from creeping into him.

"You know," Juive whispered, "Chibs would kill me for telling you this, but he really didn't do anything with those girls tonight."

"He didn't?" Her eyes twinkled slightly.

"No. Well when he apologizes for what he said, we'll be fine."

"Good luck with that," he chuckled. "They're all stubborn. Comes with the territory."

"Figures." She turned her attention back to the YouTube video they were watching before his computer dinged. "You've got an email."

"Belfast," he noted, opening the attachment sent.

"That's the guy who took - Is he dead?"

"Very. Jax. Clay. You gotta see this." Walking over to the bar, he left Y/N by the couch with a chill running down her spine. "I just got an email from the Belfast V.P." He waited until the others had gathered around him. "This was taken six hours ago. Short Strand, Belfast."

"Cameron's in Ireland," Jax breathed.

"Then where's Abel?"

* * *

She slept on the couch that night. Or tried. Images of Kip and Cameron Hayes corpses kept dancing behind her eyelids. Over and over. She finally gave up on the idea altogether, occupying her mind with a game of pool.

She was still awake when it was time for work. Finished dressing, she walked outside just in time to hear Jax shouting into his phone. Heading towards Gemma's office, she was actually grateful to be sentenced to filing duty.

"Aren't you going to pack?"

She turned to see Chucky standing in the doorway. "I didn't realize I was still going?"

"Chibs sent me to remind you."

"I don't suppose Chibs is enough of an adult to tell me himself? Sorry," she offered when he looked to the ground. "I'm not mad at you. Of him. That much. I'm just tired. I'll go grab my stuff. Won't take long."

Five minutes later, her backpack was ready. Her skirt, jeans and three shirts fit inside with her boots and wallet. Her toothbrush a book were tossed in the front zipper. It was more empty than full. But she didn't mind.

"You're riding with Jax," Clay informed her, giving her a small black book before getting onto his bike. "Your passport."

"I don't have a passport," she pointed out, furrowing her brow when she saw her picture next to a fake name. "Where did you even get this picture."

"Juicy is good with a computer," the old man shook his head, amused at her confusion. "Used the guy that helped Hayes get out of the country. Now come on, we gotta go."

She chanced a look at chibs who was using way too much focus putting on his riding gloves. When he didn't meet her gaze, she slouched. "You got it boss."

* * *

Walking over to Jax who was already on his bike, she hitched a leg over, wrapping her arms around his waist. She tried to ignore how different he smelled. How he felt. She was used to holding on to someone else.

Soon after they separated from the rest of the group, they stopped halfway up the hill. Clay hunched over, trying to hold his bike up.

"What's wrong?" Jax called over his engine, pulling up beside his step-father.

"Hands," was the club president's only response.

"You shoot 'em up?"

"You're mom's the only one that does it right," he sighed.

For a moment, Y/N felt bad for the man. A biker who couldn't grip the handles wasn't much of a biker.

"Can you hold a grip?"

Y/N got up and took one of the old man's hands, massaging it. "My mom had carpal tunnel. Sometimes it helped."

He smiled slightly at her efforts. "We don't have enough time," he told her before looking to his step-son. "You're gonna have to tie me on."

"Yeah," Jax replied, dismounting his bike.

Y/N watched as the blond secured Clay's hands with bandanas, wondering if that was really a safe option.

"That good?"

"Yeah." He looked to the young woman. "I appreciate you tryin' kid."

"Any time."

* * *

When they arrived, they were greeted by Gemma and Tig. Wanting to avoid staring at the makeout session between her boss and his wife, Y/N made her way to Tig.

"How ya been, doll?"

"Oh just peachy Trager. You?"

"Oh you know. Practically had a vacation."

"What's the girl doing here?" Gemma whispered.

"Chibs wants her looked after," Jax explained. "Long story," he added with a shake of his head. "I got no clue what's going on there."

She nodded. "How's our little man?"

"Good," Jax lied, lighting up a cigarette.

"Is he with Neeta?"

"Yeah. Where's Tara?"

"She's inside. She's helping me box up some shit."

"Grandpa walking," Tig informed when an older man exited the house, making his way to the fenceline.

"How's Pop doin?" Clay asked.

Gemma sighed. "Finally hit him that she's gone. He knows he's going away. You guys go in. I better help him get settled. It's gonna be a tough afternoon.

She walked away leaving Tig and Jax to make their exchanges before the dark-haired man led the three of them inside.

"Heard you ended up in the hospital again," Tig commented as they entered the house.

"Yeah. It wasn't that big a deal."

"Tell that to Chibs," Clay mumbled sitting down and making himself comfortable at the kitchen table.

"Trouble in paradise?"

"I'm gonna find Tara," Jax shook his head, leaving the room.

"Let's not go there right now," the woman sighed. "He's being an ass right now. What've you been up to? Besides getting shot, I mean."

Tig laughed. "Thanks for the clarification on that one. Nothing too interesting. Just keeping Gem out of trouble. When Y/N squinted at him, he looked away from her. He already hated lying to his boss. Now he was lying to someone else. "What's been going on back home?" he turned to Clay handing him some of the Vicodin he had promised.

"We're supposed to go back inside," Clay grouched. "But we've also got a lead on Abel. Hayes was killed in Belfast. But it seems he left him in Vancouver."

"That's why we're heading up to Canada?"

"That and it get's the wife into hiding. Gets Pipsqueak over here out of trouble. At least for a bit."

"Jesus. You're in trouble too?" Tig grumbled, running a hand through his hair as he looked at Y/N.

"Ex-boyfriend is a gun runner. Big in the south. Apparently things didn't end too well between them."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning I didn't exactly tell him I was leaving him," Y/N admitted. And now he knows I'm in Charming. It's only a matter of time before he shows up. I was going to leave but Chibs wants me to go with Gemma. Rather me be in Canada with a bunch of bikers than roaming around California by myself. Now that I think about it, how are we supposed to _not_ attract attention?"

Clay let out a sigh. "Go get Jax," he ordered.

Both parties stood, walking out the room, Y/N on Tig's heels.

She tried to ignore the confused look she received from Tara upon entering the room. Instead, she offered a small smile and helped Tig with some of the boxes.

* * *

Part of him didn't want to head up to Gemma's. But part of him wanted nothing more than to see Y/N/N and make up with her. He'd known he was an ass. And that she couldn't help the way she felt. He could admit that, had the roles been reversed, he would've felt the same. Probably would've killed any man who thought he could touch her.

He wanted to kiss her. Hold her. Not necessarily say he was sorry. He was awful at that. Still, he could show her. But he knew she'd want the words. He knew that's all she was waiting for.

That's all he could think about.

* * *

"Maybe you could go redhead for a while," Tig suggested as they all gathered in the dining room again.

Y/N had to stop her own scoff from coming out as she took to sweeping the already clean floors.

"Oh Christ," Gemma bit. "I'd rather shave my head."

"Heat'll die down, Mom," promised Jax looking away from the glass door to the back yard.

"And when do I get to see my family? My grandson?"

Y/N could feel her ears prickle and her face go red. No one had told her. Warily, she looked to Tara, he gave her a warning shake of the head. She gulped. The woman already didn't trust her. Let her find out that she'd been responsible for her only grandchild being kidnapped.

"We'll figure it out," Jax answered, seemingly unphased.

"It's our only choice, baby," Clay added.

She wanted to vomit. Why was everyone so comfortable with lying about this? What if they never found Abel? Then what would they tell her? How would they explain that?

Then again, she didn't know Gemma all that well. Maybe it was for the best that the president's old lady didn't know what was really going on. Maybe it was safer that way. Especially if she was going to be stuck with her. The woman had already killed before. Y/N like living.

They all turned when Gemma's father entered the room, taking in all the faces.

"Good to see you, Nate," Clay offered, standing. "How are you?"

"Hey Grandpa," Jax greeted, hands in his pockets as he stepped a little close to the man.

"Why are you here?" the old man demanded.

"Clay's here to help me get you settled," Gemma supplied sensing the tension.

Nate shook his head. "I don't need his help. This- This is what killed your mother." Tears in his eyes, his jaw trembled as he left the room.

"Old man certainly seems to remember me," Clay joked, sitting back down.

Jax looked down at his mother and for once Y/N could see there was love in his eyes for her. "You ok Mom?"

"You guys should just...stay clear of him," Gemma breathed. "Tara and I will handle it."

Waiting until she had left the room, Tara stood, walking over to Jax. "You have to tell her," she spoke just loud enough for those around the table to hear.

"I know," he assured.

"Maybe we wait until Nate gets settled," Clay suggested, picking up his coffee. "Spread out the misery."

* * *

"Can I bum one of those?" Y/N asked as Tig puffed on one of his cigarettes on the front porch.

"You don't smoke," he chuckled, letting out a small bit of smoke.

"Today I do."

"Am I gonna get shit on if I give you this?"

"Only if we tell," she smiled with a bat of her lashes.

"You women are gonna be the death of me."

Reaching into the front pocket of his kutte, he pulled out the pack of Newports he kept stashed and handed her one. He waited as she placed it between her lips before lighting it.

"Now what?" she mumbled.

"You inhale. Not like that," he chuckled when she started to choke.

"Fuck! Why do people do that?" she complained, snuffing it out on the bottom of her shoe. She was about to toss in when he held up a hand.

"I'll finish it later," he teased, placing an arm around her shoulder. "Sweet little virgin."

"I'm not a virgin, Tig."

His eyes widened slightly. "Well, that's certainly good to know. Go Chibs."

She would've corrected him had his phone not rang. Instead, she tried to get the taste of menthols out of her mouth.

"Shit. I'm on it." He hung up before looking to Y/N. "Grab your bag. Change of plans."

Her brow furrowed as she followed him inside. Stopping in the living room, she grabbed her belongings before following both Tig and Clay into the basement. "What's going on?"

After giving Jax a brief - very brief warning that Piney and company were in trouble, the tension in the room only thickened.

"What's going on?" Clay repeated.

"Apparently," Jax informed, "our lovely ladies whacked the caretaker. And this idiot," he pointed to Tig, "helped them!"

Tig's fast drooped at the revelation.

"What?" Clay hissed.

"Is murder just a normal thing for you guys or…" Y/N's words were cut off by several glares. "Right. Nevermind."

"Actually, I just made a phone call," Tig responded.

"Jesus Christ," Clay grumbled, walking up the stairs. "This - later. Let's go."

"Douchebag," Jax bit following behind his president.

Tig looked to Tara and Gemma, walking over to them. "What happened to, 'Oh, we can't tell Jax about anything'? You two are killing me."

When an awkward silence filled the room, Y/N took that as her cue to leave, following behind the grumpy male.

* * *

The next thing she knew, she was being sent off with Gemma and Tara.

"You stay with them," Tig ordered. "Keep them out of trouble."

"Can't I just go with you?"

"And risk getting shot up?" He shook his head at her. "Nuh uh. There's a reason we keep old ladies out of club business."

"I'm no one's old lady," she rolled her eyes. Chibs had made that very clear.

Confused, but too concerned with the situation taking place with his brothers, Tig chose to ignore the statement, deciding he would bring it up at another time. "You call one of us if something goes down. But for now, just keep a low profile. You get seen with Gem that's an offense."

"I know what aiding and abetting is, Trager."

"Good," he sassed, placing a kiss in her hair. "See you in a bit, doll."

Sitting awkwardly beside Tara in the passenger seat while Gemma and Nate took the back, it took everything Y/N had not to blurt out the truth. There was something about keeping this secret that still felt wrong. Her guilt was rising to an all new extreme and she didn't know what to do. Instead, she found herself focusing on a rather intense game of Tetris courtesy of Chibs Telford.

"We're here," Tara spoke, parking the car. "You staying in the car?" she asked Y/N.

"Um… Yeah. This seems like more of a family matter."

The doctor nodded in understanding. She didn't exactly want to have to witness this either.

* * *

She hadn't expected Gemma to be back so soon, sitting in the driver seat, sobbing with a cigarette in hand.

"Do you want a hug?" Y/N offered, shutting the prepaid to look fully at the woman. "Or get Tara?"

The older woman shook her head, sniffles subsiding as she looked at her mugshot once more. Taking out her cell phone she waiting for an answer. "Hello? Uh… Could you connect me to Agent Stahl?"

"What are you doing?" Y/N whispered.

"It's very important," Gemma spoke, ignoring her question. "I got a line on a fugitive."

* * *

 _Shit! Shit! Shit!_

The night sky blurred around them as they passed the Welcome to Charming sign. There was an awkward silence that surrounded them as Gemma drove. Y/N would've called Tig had it not been for Gemma snatching the prepaid cell from her hands, sticking it somewhere in the dark.

"This is a bad idea," Y/N tried. "You can't turn yourself in, Gemma."

Still no answer.

Her blood had run cold. She could feel practically every nerve in her body. Every hair stand up. How was she supposed to convince this woman?"

Suddenly, the car halted in front of the Teller house. Gemma immediately exited the Cutlass.

"Fuck!" Releasing her seatbelt, Y/N searched for the cell phone. "Come on. Come on." When her hand gripped something small and cold, she gave herself a small pat on the back. Fumbling through the contacts she found the name Boss who she could only assume was Clay. She hit the call button, hoping someone would answer. "Pick up. Pick up."

Straight to voicemail.

"Damn it!"

She jumped when the driver's door opened again. "No one's there," Gemma breathed. "Gotta be at the clubhouse."

"Who's at the clubhouse?"

"Abel."

Y/N froze. Her stomach dropped and she felt the sudden urge to throw up. The feeling only increased when Gemma tore out onto the street before she had the chance to buckle up again.

"Shit," Gemma barked when the mechanic lost her lunch. She felt a little guilty but she couldn't let that stop her. She needed to see her grandson one last time. Speeding up, she barely made the turn into Teller-Morrow before shifting into park and jumping out of the car once more.

Y/N got out this time, throwing up once more as soon as she stood. She tried to regain herself. Especially when Gemma ran back out. She watched, too paranoid to move, as the woman answered her phone. Suddenly the phone dropped out of her hands. The Y/H/C could hear as the Old Lady's breath became short and Labored.

"G-Gemma?" Y/N managed, finally approaching.

"You… Knew…"

The roar of motorcycles entered the lot causing them both to turn. It was barely a second later that Gemma fell the ground. Y/N tried to catch her, succeeding in keeping her head of the ground, but stumbling to the ground as well. The two quickly found themselves surrounded by leather as Jax called out for Tara.

"Shit."

* * *

 **A/N:** I know I say this at the end of every chapter... Thank you guys so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this latest addition. To all my Chibs lovers, I am sorry for the angst. But I promise we will get some reconciliation soon. This is just setting the tone for the next couple of chapters. Because, as many of you know, the club will be headed to Belfast shortly. Will you be tagging along?

As always, I do take requests. You can find my fandoms listed in my bio as well as the couples I ship. (I'm happy to write other ships as well if you want). My inbox is always open for requests or if you just want to talk. See you guys soon!

Much love,

Ana


	9. Turning and Turning

**A/N:** Hey guys! I'm finally back with an update. Closing the store has it's benefits. I have pretty much until five to write what I want. For those of you who didn't read my latest fanfic (a Supernatural one-shot called "The Test") I'll just give a short little update. I have had writer's block for months. I haven't been able to work on fanfics let alone my own work. And I feel like this break was just something I had to go through. But hopefully - as I say pretty much every time - I want to try and have a regular uploading schedule. And that is still a goal I have. However, the month of October 2017, I don't intend to be posting too much because I will be getting married!

A lot has happened! Anyways. I really do appreciate all the sweet things you guys have said. It really did make me feel better when I felt like nothing I was writing was worthwhile. You are the absolute best! Each and every one of you. Thank you so much for your patience and support!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. I am merely a fan too invested long after the show has ended.

* * *

 **Nine: Turning and Turning**

This isn't good. Gemma was in the hospital. Handcuffed. And worst of all the secret was out. We all sat in the hospital lobby. Jax was currently dumping a whole sugar shaker into his coffee, talking to Bobby while Y/N sat curled next to Chibs, their earlier anger forgotten over the stress of hoping Gemma would be alright. There was too much sitting. Waiting.

"Yo." With a nod of his head, Jax urged the crew to follow him.

Everyone moved at once, Chibs giving his girl a quick peck on the cheek before walking away.

"Nope," the woman mumbled under her breath. "I'll stay here. It's cool."

She occupied her mind by pacing back and forth in the small space between the chairs and opposite wall. She was about to lose my mind when Tara walked by.

"Wait up," Y/N called jogging after her.

She turned to face me, confusion on her face. "Something wrong?"

"No. No it's just…" She didn't know what to say. How to word it. "I'm sorry."

The doctors brows drew close together as if trying to interpret what she was being told. "For what?"

"Gemma. This is the second time I've let someone you care about get hurt. An-and Abel. I'm never gonna forgive myself for-"

"Y/N/N," Tara spoke with a soft smile. Sympathy gracing her face. "Gemma and Abel… That's not your fault. Trust me, I know Gemma and she probably would've killed you before she let you stop her. And Abel…that was Stahl. We're gonna get him back."

The mechanic nodded, shoulders relaxing just slightly. "Okay."

"You seen Jax? Gemma wants to see him."

"She's awake?" Y/N shook her head, trying to be more goal oriented. "Uh, he and the guys walked toward the chapel thing."

Tara gave a small chuckle before nodding. "Alright. I'll send Chibs out."

"You don't have to do that," Y/N opposed. "I don't want him to think I'm too clingy."

* * *

"Guess you don't think I'm clingy," she gasped as his lips attacked her neck.

"No," he growled as he ground his hips into hers. "That's not exactly what I'm thinkin' right about now."

Tara had sent him back. It wasn't long before they'd found themselves in the bathroom down the hall, pressed up against the tiled wall. She wasn't exactly sure how they'd gotten there. But she wasn't sure she cared all that much right about now. Her eyes fluttered as he continued his assault, undoing each button of her shirt, lips following the trail. He'd just reached the waist of her jeans when there was a knock on the door.

"Someone's in here," the Scot called out.

"It's me," came a gruff voice.

The older man sighed, standing back up as Y/N quickly redid her shirt. He made the short distance to the door and poked his head through. "This had better be important."

"It is," Opie assured. "Jax needs us."

"Shite." He looked back to Y/N.

"Tig can take her back to the shop."

Chibs nodded, fixing his belt buckle before opening the door. Y/N followed behind him, hiding the blush on her face as she tried to tame her disheveled hair. As he walked behind them, Opie could only roll his eyes at their antics.

"Kids."

* * *

"You missed a button," Tig teased as she bent forward over the pool table. "Nice rack by the way."

They'd gotten back to the clubhouse after stopping by the gym to make sure everything was alright. Tig being the child at heart that he was had bet Y/N that he could beat her at any game she called. Granted that was before he knew she was a pool shark.

"Sexually harass me all you want," she smirked. "I'm still gonna kick your ass."

"It's easy to do that when you're playing one pocket."

"If your feelings are that hurt, we'll do eight ball next."

"Yeah, well, I don't wanna play with you anymore. You cheat."

"That's alright. Game's over," she watched as her eighth ball sunk into the pocket. "That'll be forty bucks, Trager." She smirked, perching herself onto the table.

"I liked you a lot better when you were nice," Tig spat, handing her two twenties from her wallet as she held her hand out.

"Chicken's ready to meet," Juice spoke, clapping his hands as he walked into the room. "You give him a hummer or somethin'?"

"She cheats at pool," Tig laughed as Y/N threw her cue at him.

"Ow," the younger man emphasized when it got him in the arm.

"Tiggy here's a sore loser."

"I could've told you that one." Juice grinned.

"Chicken," Tig reminded.

"Right. Y/N/N you good by yourself for a while?"

"Gonna have to be," she nodded, though part of her didn't want to admit her fear.

* * *

She took to cleaning as the boys were gone. Cleaning. And cooking. Then cleaning again. Even Chucky was gone. She officially didn't know what to do with herself. It was dark and she was alone. She finally found herself sitting in the dorms with the door locked and the curtains drawn. Kitchen knife in hand.

It felt like forever before a knock came on the door. "Y/N why is the door locked?"

She scrambled up from the bed to the sound of her favorite accent, shoving the night in the drawer of the bedside table. Just before she reached for the handle, she took a step back smiling. "What's the password?"

"Not now lass. I have to speak with you."

Noting the seriousness in his tone, she opened the door. "What's wr-"

Her words were cut off by her scream. Before she knew it she was being picked up and carried over Chibs' shoulder. "I'll show you a password."

* * *

"Sore?" Chucky teased when Y/N walked out in one of Chibs' shirts, a pained look on her face when she lifted her shoulder.

"Shut," up she chuckled, using a hair-tie to tighten the shirt to flow better with her jeans. "Where is he?"

"Oh. The guys are outside talking club business."

"Of course they are."

"Hungry?"

"I can cook, you know." A smirk played on her lips as she watched him fumble with a skillet. "You're gonna make me fat."

"I can only try," he laughed.

Sitting at the bar next to Phil she watched as her friend worked, fixing her the best looking omelet she had ever seen.

The boys walked in to find Y/N with a mouth full of egg, a satisfied moan coming from her.

"She sounds more satisfied with those eggs than she did with you last night," Opie teased, earning a glare from Chibs and chuckles from the prospective prospects seated at the bar.

"I love a woman who can eat," Juice added.

"I have a knife," Y/N/N warned, turning in your seat to face the Puerto Rican. She waved her butter knife for emphasis.

The rest of the men chuckled and walked into the meeting room. Chibs stayed behind, with a smug look on his face.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow, stuffing another forkful into her mouth.

"Nothin', love. Just wondering if I should get your some Icy Hot seeing as your energizing yourself for round five."

"Round three. Forgetting how to count in your old age?" The woman turned, continuing to enjoy her breakfast.

He walked over, leaning into her ear so that only she could hear. "Careful lass. This old man just might take you over his knee."

She felt her cheek reddening as she walked away.

"I'd say that was dirty" Chucky grinned from across the bar.

"What's dirty?" Tig asked, walking in with Kozik trailing behind him.

"You," Y/N joked.

"You're lucky you're cute," the curly-haired man warned, ruffling her hair as he walked by.

Squinting her eyes, Y/N/N tried to fix what he had messed up without a mirror. Giving up, she finished her breakfast. Soon after the three men beside her were called into the room as well, only to exit shortly thereafter sporting their own kutts. About ten minutes later the rest of the crew made their way back out.

Chibs made his way to his woman, kissing her hair before seating himself on the bar counter. "Hap's in," he smiled.

Y/N grinned up the tall bald man currently receiving hugs of congratulations. "That's good, right?"

"Yeah. What've you got going on today?"

"I was thinking about taking some flowers up to the hospital. I really want to apologize to Gemma."

"You may want to wait on that."

"Why? The sooner I apologize the better."

"Handcuffed to a bed or no, Gemma will still find a way to tear you apart. Maybe you could handle some of the paperwork around here. Something that she isn't able to do."

She didn't even get a chance to respond because suddenly a fight between Tig and Kozik erupted, all SAMCRO members and Chucky eagerly awaiting the outcome.

"No one's going to break it up?"

"No Lass. This is how men fight." He looked to her briefly. "Pack a bag."

"Huh?"

"How do you feel about a possible overseas vacation?"

"Are you kidding me Telford?"

Rolling his eyes, he hopped off the counter and took her hand. "A word."

He lead her outside by the picnic tables. Running a hand through his hair he looked at her. "We're trying to get to Belfast."

"And you think that's a good idea? Right now? You guys tried once and it didn't end well."

"Y/N. We have to get Abel back. Now I can't tell you everything -"

"Of course you can't." Letting out a deep breath, she sat on one of the tables, her head in her hands. "I moved to get away from this shit."

He squatted down. "I know. And I'm sorry you got dragged into any of this. But this is my life… If we're going to be together…"

"You and the club are a package deal. I get it. But do you really need international warrants?"

"Would you do it if it was your kid?"

"What?" She looked at him finally trying to ignore the cheering coming from inside.

"If you were in Jax's situation, would you do it."

"I… I mean I guess so. But I wouldn't go dragging my friends into it."

"We volunteered."

She shook her head in disbelief. "Your loyalty really is blind."

"Well, that's kind of the thing with loyalty. Right?" Standing, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. "Come with me."

He nibbled on her ear just slightly before moving to her neck and back to her jaw, a pleasure spot he had discovered last night. Her shoulders dropped and her body weakened. She couldn't believe what he was doing to her right now. And how she was willing to go along despite her better judgment.

"What is it with you Scotsmen?"

"That a yes?"

"Yes."

He smiled. Kissing her deeply, he leaned her back onto the tabletop. Suddenly he stopped and started to tickle her thighs earning a shriek of laughter from her.

"Enough of that," Piney barked, walking out with the rest of the crew. "We got work to do."

"Right," Chibs agreed. Helping Y/N/N up, he kissed her once more. I'll see you later."

"Later."

* * *

It was later on in the day when she was eating lunch that Y/N got a real glimpse into the realities of being affiliated with the club. She was face down on the clubhouse floor with her hands behind her head. Cops swarmed the room with guns in hand. Chibs laid beside her whispering for her to keep calm.

She tried. But she could feel her lungs closing up. Her hands shaking. Eyes clenched, she tried to focus on her breathing. Suddenly she felt a hand slowly cover hers and lead it away from her body. Chibs placed his lips on her knuckles, his touch calming her.

In all the madness he was keeping her grounded. But this madness…was apart of the package. She wondered if she could handle it. The secrets. The violence. Everything.

Was she cut out for this life? His life?

Suddenly it was over. The cops were leaving and everyone was able to move again. She was standing in Chibs' arms listening to his reassurance that everything was alright.

She lay in bed that night wondering. Hypothesising. Trying to envision her life without the club. Without the man sleeping beside her.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry guys. You know I have to have copious amounts of angst. Can't have them be too happy. Especially with Belfast quickly approaching. Anyways! I hope you enjoyed. I will try to have a little more of Chibs' POV in the next couple chapters. Hopefully, I can do it in a way that works. Also! I have not forgotten about Andre. Just you wait.

Much love and blessings,

Ana


	10. I Killed Someone

**A/N:** Hey guys! Another chapter. I don't know why, but I'm proud of this chapter but at the same time I absolutely hate it. I know the plane was probably big enough but we're just going to stick with the whole limited seats excuse because I tried writing it in a way where Y/N missed the flight due to being in the car with Tig but there was no way to finagle that in there without it being utter crap. But, at the same time I did work hard on this piece so I have to at least acknowledge that I guess, haha. But anyway, I did end up cutting a lot of stuff out and then pasting two chapters together. Needless to say I went from having 104 pages typed 98 now (I'm working on future chapters at the same time). So the whole climax of this story was originally in chapter thirteen, but I felt that it fit better in here with chapter ten.

As usual, I just want to take a moment to thank all of you for reading and reviewing. It means a lot, especially since I've strayed from my little Glee niche. I am really enjoying writing this fic and it feels amazing to know there are a few of you out there who are actively enjoying it. Hope you enjoy the new chapter.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. All character belong to their specific creators.

* * *

 **Ten: I Killed Someone**

"Thanks again," the man smiled. He was around her age with sandy hair. She'd just finished the inspection on his Sentra.

"No problem." When she stepped out from putting up his new sticker, she noticed his eyes do a quick onceover, lingering on her chest. "Eyes up here, dude."

He flushed with a clearing of his throat. "Sorry. You're just...really attractive."

"And carrying," she supplied. It was a partial lie. She did have a knife on her per Chibs suggestion.

"I like a woman who's not afraid to stand her ground." He stepped closer only to have her place a warning hand on his chest.

"You don't wanna do that," she warned.

"Everything alright?"

The two turned at the sound of Chibs' voice. The older man walked over with Y/N/N's backpack in hand.

"It's fine," Y/N/N assured, taking the bag from him as he snaked his arm around her waist. She pretended not to notice how Chibs sized the other man up. "Time to go?"

"Yeah." He kissed her hair and led her away with a warning look to their customer. "I stuffed a jacket in there. You might be cold later."

"Possessive much?" she chuckled when they reached his bike.

"What? Did you want him?"

"You know I don't," she smirked. Pulling him in by his kutte, she kissed him once more. "Let's go."

* * *

She wasn't expecting Gemma to get out of the cutlass that had entered the hanger, shades, leather and all.

"How'd she get out of the hospital?" she whispered to Happy who merely shrugged as the matriarch hugged her boys.

"What are you thinking?" Chibs raised his brow as he watched her frown.

"There's no way we're all going to fit on this thing." She turned, her Y/E/C eyes meeting his as he hand tightened around the strap of her bag. She bit her lip. "I have to stay."

"No. You don't. You aren't."

She gave him a stern look. "Listen, Filip. I lied to her too. I was there when her grandson was stolen. She can have my seat. I owe her."

"I need to keep you safe."

"Tig can keep me safe for a week. I promise. Don't push me on this."

"You call me. Every day."

"I will."

"Fine. Hey Piney. Y/N/N's heading back with you."

The old man nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder before turning back to clay and the rest of the group.

"Don't get killed," she warned Chibs.

"You either. I love you."

She froze, her mouth hanging open. She couldn't seem to form a proper sentence, and string of stutters the only thing escaping her lips.

"When I get back," he whispered before walking toward Juice.

"Told you he cares about you."

Y/N jumped at the sound of Gemma's voice. "Oh. Hey."

The older woman smirked. "Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you. I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

Y/N couldn't help but smile. "Thanks. Listen I'm sorry. About everything."

"I know sweetheart."

She watched as the matriarch walked off with her boys into the lot. Realization hit her as their retreating backs grew smaller and smaller in the distance. This was her family now.

* * *

He should've stayed. All the what-if's were driving him insane. But he'd made a promise to Jax and he refused to turn his back on the club. He hoped she'd keep the knife on her and that Tig would be enough.

He knew he shouldn't have been this attached to a woman he hadn't known that long. But he supposed that was love. He'd felt it with Fi. That's how Karrianne had come about. He and Y/N/N wouldn't have a child of their own. And they'd made sure to fit some passionate meetings into their schedules the last few days. They could adopt, he mused, again noting that things were moving faster than normal.

But he didn't care. He just wanted her. And only her. He wanted to make sure she stayed safe. He wanted to make sure she was his. For the long haul.

* * *

"Hey Chucky," she called out when she heard the clubhouse doors open. She was cleaning up empty bottles and glasses from the night before, content that she at least had something to focus on during her day off. Something that would keep her mind off of Filip and what he was doing. Why he hadn't called yet. "Prospects sure can eat can't they?"

When she realized the awkward man had yet to answer her, she turned to face the now-closed doors.

"Chucky," she sighed. "If this is another one of your magic tricks, I'd really -"

Her word were cut off by a hand over her mouth. She tried to free herself but a strong arm gripped her torso pinning her to hardcut body. A familiar body. Y/N stiffened. Her angry muffled screams turning into barely heard whimpers as her eyes began to burn.

"Lookin' good, honey."

Andre.

"You scream and I'll kill that two-fingered freak I tied up. Got it?" It wasn't really a question. She knew that. She'd been with him long enough to know what the different uptakes in that deep voice really meant.

And she feared for Chucky even worse. She knew Andre wasn't lying.

She nodded, letting her body go lax. She had to force herself not to bolt for the door the second he released her. "What do you want?"

"You baby girl. Just you." He gave a gentle pat to the gun at his waist. "You know, I was real upset - hurt - when I came home to find you gone. All your stuff. Your car. Good move ditching it by the way. Had it not been for your little hospital visit, I never would've known where you were."

"Why'd it take you so long to come here then?" she managed. If you knew where I was?"

"Now honey you know I can't just skip out on business deals over a bitch like you. So I had a friend come and keep watch. Make sure you didn't go anywhere else. Got yourself a new man it looks like. A little old in my opinion. Didn't take you for a gal with daddy issues."

"Shut up," she muttered. Everyone had their jokes about the age gap between her and Chibs but that didn't mean her ex got an opinion. "You need to leave."

"How's your head?" he mused, ignoring her warning. "When they called they said you had a concussion? You've got a habit of those."

Her phone rang. The loud chirp filling the air in the room.

"Answer it," Andre instructed, his fingers twitching over the butt of the gun.

Pulling the phone from her pocket she saw it was a long distance caller. Chibs. She gulped, flipping it open and pressing the green button. "Filip." She kept her eyes on her ex, trying to keep her voice even.

"Y/N," Chibs smiled over the phone. "I've missed your voice."

"I miss yours too,"she admitted. "H-hey. Can I call you back? It's really busy at the shop today and another customer just stopped in. Why don't you call Tig? He's been dying to hear from you. Bye."

She hung up before he could object.

* * *

Chibs stared at the store phone in confusion. Something in her voice was off. Something he couldn't quite make out. He could feel his blood turn cold.

"Was that her?" Fiona spoke with a sad smile, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

He nodded. He'd told Fi about Y/N before their reunion could go too far. To say she had been shocked was an understatement. "Something's wrong."

"You think she's in trouble?"

Punching in Tig's number, he put his phone back to his ear. "Tiggy," he barked when his brother answered on the second ring. "Where's Y/N/N?"

"Nice to hear from you too, brother," the curly-haired man griped through the speaker. "It's her day off. She's picking up in the clubhouse and then heading to the salon. Haircut or something like that."

"Is she alone?"

On the other end, Tig sat up from his slouched position in the passenger side of the tow truck looking at Kozik who sat in the driver's seat. "What's going on man?"

"I need you to get to her. She said she was working."

"You think she might be in trouble?"

"I know she is. I can feel it."

"Okay. We're about five minutes from the garage. Had to pick up a car outside of town. I'll get to her."

* * *

Reaching forward, Andre gripped her wrist hard enough for her to cry out. "Come on. We're going home."

"No." She struggled to free herself. "Let go of me!"

"Or what?" he smirked, leaning in close to her face.

"Or I'll fucking kill you."

Whether it was adrenaline or because she had expected as much from him, she barely felt when the back of his hand connected with her face, sending her to the ground.

"I'll kill you," he growled, reaching for the gun he had holsted. He gripped the collar of her shirt, pulling her close to his face as he brought the gun to her temple. "Don't tempt me."

She could taste the blood in her mouth, feel it slipping through and around her teeth. "Do it."

She could hear things click into place. He was going to do it. This was it. She was going to die. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath to calm herself. Bringing her hand forward she gripped him through the crotch of his pants and pulled as hard as she could. Jumping up when he flinched, she kneed him in the same area, making her way to the door.

He grabbed her by her hair, pulling her body back, the movement breaking glass bottles and plates, knocking over chairs as she tried to fight back.

"You stupid bitch!" he spat, throwing her onto the ground.

She could feel her hands and knees split open as she landed on the shards of glass scattered on the floor. He kicked her ribs and pushed her down so that she was forced to lay in the pieces, crawling for the door.

"Get up! Get up!"

She could see a carving knife that had fallen to her left. She just had to grab it. Use it. Save herself. She continued to crawl, ignoring when he kicked her leg.

"Get up!"

She reached her hand forward, moving faster than she thought possible. She found the handle of the knife, fisting it in her bleeding hand.

"Get up!" Andre spat again.

Slowly, Y/N stood, knife in hand. Her body ached. She could feel herself shaking as she looked into his eyes.

He laughed. It was more of a scoff. "You gonna fight back? I'll fucking teach you. Good this time."

He stepped toward her, gun still drawn. He didn't expect her to surge forward plunging the knife into his stomach just as he pulled the trigger.

* * *

Tig head the gunshot as soon as he and Kozik parked. Fighting against their seatbelts, the two men charged into the clubhouse.

The knife in her hand was shaking, her whole body a violent tremor. She let it drop to the ground, a sob escaping her as she fell to the ground.

"Call Tara," Tig ordered Kozik. "Tell her it's an emergency."

When the blond left, Tig slowly walked over to the woman's crumpling body. "It's okay doll." Bending down, he sat with her enveloping her in his arms. "It's gonna be okay."

"I'm bleeding," she informed him. She could feel it now. He'd shot her.

"Tara's on the way."

"I killed somebody."

"It's okay."

He rocked her back and forth. It was all he could do.

* * *

 **A/N:** I honestly couldn't wait for us to meet Andre. Too bad his little visit was short lived (no pun intended). But rest assured this is going to cause some drama for Chibs and the reader. Things are just starting to heat up. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! As always, feel free to PM me your requests. (SIDE NOTE: If the fic involves real actual people or themes of sex slavery your request will be denied. I've had some requests for things like this and other stuff I simply do not feel comfortable writing bout).

XOXO

Ana


	11. The Best Laid Plans

**A/N:** Just you wait. Another chapter is coming you guys! I can't wait for the boys to get back to the states because that's when things start to take off for Chibs and the reader again. Writing an LDR is new to me so it's a little difficult. But nonetheless, I must continue with the episodes and the chapters. I'm outlining chapter thirteen right now. So hopefully I can have it up by this weekend. But we shall see. Anyways, I really hope you enjoy chapters 11-12 in this little back-to-back update. Thank you guys so much for reading. Hope to be posting again soon!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. All character belong to their specific creators.

* * *

 **Eleven: The Best Laid Plans**

Chibs was fuming. Tossing the burner phone onto the mattress he'd been given, she paced around the small room. He should've stayed. Forced her to come. How could he have let this happen? He'd promised to keep her safe.

That son of a bitch was lucky he was already dead.

Dead.

He ran a hand through his hair, knowing full well that Y/N had never killed anyone before. She was probably going insane - beside herself with guilt. And he couldn't be there for her.

What if it had been the other way around? What if she had been the one bleeding out the floor. With her track record in Charming, he knew she didn't walk away uninjured. She was far too consistent not to be cut up in some way. Only this time, he wasn't there to make sure she didn't do anything stupid like turn herself in.

"Oh, Y/N/N what am I going to do with you?"

* * *

Patched up now and in a new shirt, Y/N gave her shoulder and experimental wiggle, wincing as she did so.

"Don't do that," Tara chastised as she removed another piece of glass from the woman's hand. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking he was going to shoot me. I should've had Chibs' knife. He told me to keep it with me just in case but - "

A sympathetic smile crossed over Tara's face when she heard the crack in Y/N's voice. "You'll get past it."

"Guess I'm an official member of the group now, huh?" Though she smiled, it didn't reach her eyes which had started to brim over with tears. "One of the girls?" she sniffed.

"You did what you had to do," Tara assured her, stitching up Y/N/N's left hand. "It was either him or you. You were protecting yourself." Carefully, she moved to continue the same procedure on the opposite hand.

"They'll come for me," she warned, trying to ignore the feeling of the needle going through her skin. "Andre would've told someone where he was going. He wasn't stupid. This could come back on the club."

"That's already taken care of," Tig assured as he entered the room.

Peering through the open door behind him, Y/N noted that the body was gone."What did you do with him?"

Shutting the door behind him, he ignored the question and grabbed a chair. "I just got off the phone with Chibs. He's gonna call you later on tonight."

"Shit. What did he say?"

"Not much," he sighed, taking a seat. "I think he's just glad you're okay."

"Are you?" Tara asked, wrapping a bandage around the other woman's hands and sitting on the table beside her. "Okay?"

"As much as I can be. But what about the club? I don't want any trouble coming to you guys as retaliation for what I did."

"It won't. Trust me."

"But how-"

"Don't worry. Right now you just need to rest."

"Tig's right," Tara agreed. "You're not doing anything with that shoulder. Or those hands. You'll pop the stitches open."

"You mean to tell me that I'm not supposed to work? Again?"

"It'll be alright," Tig tried.

"This is my livelihood. I can't earn a living if I can't do my job."

"So will find you another job here or somewhere else in town. Or just do small stuff around here like the other ol' ladies. Something where you can't possibly injure yourself further. The last thing I need is Chibs coming for my ass because you were too stubborn to sit down for more than five minutes."

She held her tongue. She no longer had the energy to argue with anyone. "I'm gonna take a nap."

Standing, she made to leave. She tried to ignore the humiliation of struggling with the handle of the door. Her palms really were fucked up. Heading toward the dorm, she slipped into the room, locking the door and sliding her body against the hardwood as she fell to the floor.

The tears fell slowly. Silently at first. Until she could no longer contain the sobs that wracked her body.

She didn't know Tig was outside her door, keeping watch until they could come up with a game plan. She didn't know that things were a little more tense than he was letting on. She didn't know that Chibs had almost been arrested. Or that they still had to find a way to keep her safe when people came asking questions.

All she knew is that it was going to take a while to get the feel of blood off her hands.

He listened to her sobs until they stopped. He assumed she was asleep. Hoped. He'd grown attached to her. He wanted to protect her, help her like his own daughters. He just wanted to keep her safe.

* * *

Tig and Kozik were going at it. Again. This was the their argument that had ensued between the two since the morning.

"Blow me," Kozik spat as he continued to work on his bike.

"What?"

"I said blow me."

"I need that socket."

Y/N/N used to their antics had taken to sitting back in a folding chair and taking her own silent bets.

Tara and Chucky left Gemma's office from where they had been rifling through the filing cabinets. A bemused expression from the double-digit man.

"God, what is up with those two?" Tara groaned.

"Not sure," Chucky admitted with a shake of his head. "But judging by their level of malevolence, there's gotta be at least one vagina involved."

Y/N shook her head. "You're probably right."

"Thanks for the insight," Tara nodded with a smirk. "I'll go check the clubhouse for the receivables.

"We should have our own t.v. show with the shit that goes on around here," Chucky joked as Tara walked away.

Y/N/N gave a small chuckle. "How ya feeling Chuck?"

"What? Oh fine. Fine. Yeah. I've been tied up before so it's nothing new." He gave his signature grin as he came to stand beside her chair. "It's even a little fun sometimes."

"I'll keep that in mind." She smiled. The first time she had since this morning when she'd been attacked.

Nodding, the man placed his palm over her shoulder. "I'm here if you need to talk. Now I haven't...gone through what you went through. But I can be a good listener."

"Placing her hand over the back of his she looked at him. "Thanks Chucky."

A bit of sadness filled her eyes as he walked away. For a moment, she'd almost forgotten she was murderer. That most of the people she was around were murderers.

Before she could ponder more, the phone rang.

* * *

Gemma watched as Chibs interacted with his family, preparing to take them back to the rectory. She knew he'd never stop loving Fiona. And he sure as hell wasn't going to stop loving his little girl. Not matter how little he saw them. Family was a strange and complicated thing.

There were the secrets. The lies. The pain. The hurt. The love. All tied up together in one complete package. Just waiting to be opened like a present under a Christmas tree. And she knew that eventually all that hurt was going to be unwrapped. Coming to Ireland. Finding out about J.T.'s love child, it hurt. Even now. Even long after he'd passed and she'd moved on. Even after all the thing that she'd done. The things she kept buried. Somewhere in her heart, there was still a place for John Teller that ached. She hated and loved him all at the same time.

And to have his biggest betrayal walking around, was not making any easier to separate the two feelings.

* * *

"Wait," Y/N spoke, cutting off Chib's story. "You went to take them back and what happened?"

His sigh could be heard over the phone and she just knew he was rubbing his hand over his face. "We were attacked. Someone shot up the car."

"A-and Kerrianne and Fiona; they're okay. Right?"

"Yes. Kerrianne's a little upset. I wish I could convince them to come but there's no convincing. This is her home."

"But you're her father."

"Her father that's been gone most of her life." He yawned. "I'm sure Jimmy's behind some of this. But I can't do anything about it yet."

"And Jimmy is?"

"The one who gave me the scars on my face, lass. Who took my family away from me."

"Oh."

"Aye. How are you holding up? Tig taking care of you."

"Tig's been great," she answered. "Not really sure how I'm doing to be honest. It hasn't even been a whole day yet."

"I wish I was there, love."

"No. You're exactly where you need to be. Jax needs you. So does your family. You'd feel even more terrible if you weren't there."

"I guess you're right about that."

"I'm always right," the woman teased. "Besides, I wouldn't want to cause more trouble for you than I already have."

"Taking care of you is no trouble."

"To you," she whispered. "But other than getting shot at and almost detained, how have things gone?"

"Not bad. We had a bit of a party tonight. Jackie Boy roughed up and Irish. You should've seen it."

"What is with you boys and fighting?"

"Gets out the pent up rage."

"Try painting."

"I prefer something more physical."

"I'm aware." She laughed, giving a sad smile when she heard him yawn over the other end. "Get some sleep old man."

"I will. I love you."

And she knew he did.

* * *

"What the hell happened to you?" she laughed at Kozik. His face was a mess.

"Little bit a fun down at the gym," Tig shrugged as the blond man skulked away. "What's in the bag?" He pointed, his smile fading when she gripped the strap tighter.

"Just some stuff I wanted to get rid of. Thought I'd take it down to the shelter."

"It's getting late. Why don't you just do it tomorrow?"

"It's not that late. Sun's still out."

Tig knew she was lying. He could see it in her face. Her stance. The way she was holding the strap of her backpack like it was the only thing keeping her standing. "Y/N/N," he breathed as he snatched the bag away from her. It was heavy. "You're not leavin'."

"Will you shut up," she hissed, worried someone would hear. "I have to go. It isn't safe for everyone else if I stay. Andre's guys -"

"I told you that was taken care of."

"Please. No more bullshit about how nothing bad is going to happen. Something is going to happen. I can feel it. And I can't stand the thought that my being here could hurt you. Or Tara. Or Chucky. Or Chibs. They show up, you tell them I ran out on you guys. Split before you even found the body."

Snatching her bag back from him, she started walking toward the door only to have her arm gripped in a tight hand.

"And just what am I supposed to tell him when he comes back to find you gone? Huh? It'll break him."

"Filip will get over me."

"He'll go looking for you."

"He won't find me. I won't make the same mistakes I did here. I won't end up sick or hurt. I won't grow attached to anyone. I won't."

"Y/N/N. Don't do this."

"Don't try to stop me Trager." She tried not to wither under his eyes. "I can't be the reason he gets killed." She could feel the tears burning her eyes. The lump developing in her throat and the sudden feeling of suffocation.

"He'd die over you either way doll." He released her, not looking away. "You stay and Chibs never even has to know this conversation happened.

"Tig-"

"At least wait until he gets back. He's a good guy. The least he deserves is a good-bye to his face. AFter all, you love him right? That's what this is all about. You trying to protect him so he doesn't have to protect you."

"You know it is."

"Then if you really love him; wait."

The tears fell silently at first. Then violently. Dropping her bag, Y/N buried her face into Tig's chest, taking comfort in the smell of the leather. Her sobs echoed out, drawing the attention of Kozik back into the clubhouse. Shaking his head, Tig signaled for him to leave.

"I know," he comforted. "I know."

* * *

Tig carried her to bed. Laid her on top of the blanket and undid her shoes. Her mouth was slightly open as she slept, having fallen asleep in one of the barstool. Her brows were drawn together and he knew she was suffering even in her slumber. Pushing her hair out of her face, he removed her backpack from his shoulder and began to unpack her things.

Once everything was put away in what he thought was the proper place, he finagled her body under the blankets and turned away, closing the door.

"Everything alright, brother?" Kozik asked, standing as Tig entered the lounge again.

"We're gonna have to watch her," Tig nodded, hands on his hips. "Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."

"What? Like off herself?"

"I don't even know at this point. Just… Just keep an eye on her when I'm not around."

* * *

Chibs couldn't sleep. He tossed and he turned. Finally giving up on trying and playing cards with the boys, he was grateful from the distraction. Between his girls and Y/N, his mind was running rampant with what if's and maybes. Wondering how he was going to keep not only Fiona and Kerrianne safe, but his Y/N/N as well. There was no doubt she was in danger. No question of it. But rather, it was just a matter of when.

Happy's growing aggravation was doing well to keep his mind amused and occupied. This. This is what family was. What it did. It provided a calm in the middle of the storm. A sense of belonging and brotherhood. It wasn't blood. But it was home.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you so so much for reading this chapter. It really does mean a lot. Feel free to let me know what you thought about it as I'm a little biased and either like what I wrote or completely hate it. Leave a request if you like through the DMs. I'd love to write something for you! As always, fandoms and ships are listed in my bio, but don't feel like you can only request something from those lists. I will try to familiarize myself with whatever it is you are interested in.

Much love,

Ana


	12. Head and Heart

**Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. I am merely a fan too invested long after the show has ended. Some dialogue from the show has been used in the scene involving Gemma and Fiona. All the rights for those lines and actions go to their respective writers and are not my own. I am merely trying to make this fanfic work in their world.

* * *

 **Twelve: Head and Heart**

He would've been glad to kill Jimmy. All too happy. When Jax had confided in the club about what Ashby wanted, he'd nearly forgotten that getting Abel back was the priority. Not vengeance. Killing O'Phelan wasn't the goal.

Yet.

* * *

"Ooh I remember that age," Gemma blew out when Maureen lead Kerrianne off to Trinity's room. The young girl was definitely not happy with being cooped up in a room with three old women.

Ashby had brought Fiona and the teenager by shortly before the boys had taken off with the Belfast charter. Something to do with questioning Jimmy about Abel.

"I'd have a rod taken to my ass if I talked like that to my ma," Fiona grimaced, accepting the dish, Gemma handed her to wash.

"The good ol' days."

"You were right," Fiona sighed when Gemma walked away. "Me going to Chibs in Charming set this all in motion."

"Sometimes the heart beats the head," Gemma comforted, bringing over a couple more things.

"Aye. Does he love her?"

"Who?" Gemma asked with a furrowed brow as she helped clean up from lunch.

"Filip. Does he love the girl back in California?"

Giving the dark-skinned woman an understanding smile, she nodded. "Yeah. I think he does. He's been stupid since he met her."

"Is she good to him? For him? Seems she's a magnet for trouble."

"I think she is. Just had it rough the last couple years. But I've never seen Chibs the way he is with her. Aside from when he's with you."

"Or at least how he was when he was with me," Fiona sighed.

"What do you know about Kellan Ashby?" Gemma tried when the other woman turned off the water.

Their conversation was cut short by a brother being brought in by gunpoint. Two men behind him. One of whom was Jimmy O'Phelan.

* * *

Something was off. He could feel it the moment the police had stopped them. The feeling only heightened as the stopped in front of the barn. There was something not right. And Chibs could feel it.

It wasn't just the fact that Jimmy was recruiting boys just hitting puberty. But the fact that he wasn't there at all.

* * *

Y/N paced back and forth at the picnic area. She'd sit for a few seconds at one of the benches, only to stand again. She couldn't understand why. But she had this overwhelming feeling that shit was about to hit the fan. She hadn't heard from Chibs all day. And there was no one to keep her calm.

Tig and Kozik had been gone most of the day on club business. Something about talking to Uncer. Tara had work. And Chucky. Well, he tried. But his upbeat attitude was doing nothing to soothe her worry. She needed facts. She needed to know what was going on. Not just bits and pieces. She needed to know everything.

It was getting late. Someone should've pulled in by now. The dark of night was stretching over the sky and soon she would be alone. For a moment she let her mind wander. What if Andre's guys had found them? What if they were dead - somewhere in a ditch - because of her?

Tig had been so good to her since the incident. So patient. She didn't want to lose someone else. It was like she had a father again. Hell it was like she had a family. A pervy, gun-toting, bike-riding family who was being investigated by ATF. But she wouldn't change any of it.

And the thought that something might happen to even one of them while being around her terrified her. The guilt of relying on their protection filled her. She needed to fight for herself. For the people who were so willing to fight for her.

* * *

Chibs was pissed.

Paddy hadn't deserved this. To be blown up like a firework. He was young. He should've been living his life. Just like Kerrianne who shouldn't have to terrified about being killed by her step-father. Jimmy was going to pay. Gravely.

He'd said as much to the club. He was going to be the one to kill Jimmy. And he would kill him. It might not be right this second, but it was going to happen.

Picking up his phone, he dialed Charming from Maureen's phone to get a hold of Y/N/N. He just needed to hear her laugh.

She answered on the first ring and he knew she'd been waiting by the phone.

"Filip. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, love." He didn't want to tell her anything that had happened today. Especially not over the phone. "We're getting real close to finding Abel. Should be back soon."

"That's great!"

"Tiggy around?"

"Not yet. He and Kozik are out. Club stuff."

"Sounding like an ol' lady already," he teased.

She chuckled. "So I'm your old lady now?"

The sound relaxed him a little. "Of course. There's a least prospects with you right?"

"Yeah. A couple."

He could hear the worry in her voice. "What is it Y/N."

"Nothing."

He knew it was a lie. "You're safe now. I promise. No one is going to hurt you."

"It's not me I'm concerned about. It's everyone else."

"Everything will be fine. You have to believe me."

There was silence over the line. He knew she was thinking it over. Her head seemed to think a million things at once and it overwhelmed him. He didn't know what was going through her mind right now.

"The boys just pulled in. I'm gonna start dinner."

It was a half truth and he knew it. She'd more than likely already started the food. Hell, it was probably done by now. But he let it slide. They both had a lot on their plates.

"You'll have to cook for me when we get back."

He could feel her smile over the phone. "Hey Chibs?"

"Love?"

"Come home to me. Okay?"

"I will. I love you."

Hanging up, he went to his room and dropped onto his mattress. Staring at the ceiling, he thought about everything that had happened today. Partrick dead. Fiona and Kerrianne attacked. Again. He couldn't bring this kind of heat back home to her. To Y/N/N. He had to keep her safe. And he knew how.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry this chapter is so short. There was so much that happened and yet I couldn't find a way to write it without literally using all the dialogue from the episode which is something I don't like doing. So this chapter is pretty brief but it's showing a small progression - or regression depending on how you want to look at it- with the reader's relationship with Chibs and what their thought processes are. The next chapter is going to be longer by far.

Hope you all liked the double upload. If this is something you prefer, let me know in the comments. I am also considering delving into The Walking Dead as I love the show and am probably going to do some more reader fics for that fandom.

If you have an requests feel free to DM me through here and I would love to write something for you. Thank you so much for reading.

Have a fantabulous day!

Ana


	13. Maternal

**A/N:** Tada! Back way sooner than I anticipated with another chapter. I really hope you all enjoy this one. I was actually super thrilled about writing this one because it's closer to the boys returning as well as I no longer have to deal with the sexual tensions between Jax and his sister. Hope everything is well in your neck of the woods. Onward!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. All character belong to their specific creators. Dialogue used from the show also belongs to the respective writers of the episode.

* * *

 **Thirteen: Maternal**

"Has anyone seen Tara?" Y/N inquired, making coffee for herself and Kozik

"Seen who?" Tig asked, walking into the clubhouse and taking the blond man's mug before he could even receive it.

Y/N rolled her eyes, pulling out another mug from under the counter to make Kozik a new cup. "Tara. I was hoping to catch her after work last night. Margaret hasn't been answering her phone. Neither is she. I'm getting worried. I was wondering if she'd seen her."

She'd been trying to call both of them all night. But to no avail.

"I haven't seen Tara since she left yesterday," Kozik noted, taking the coffee she offered him.

"She probably just worked a late shift," Tig shrugged. "Doctors do that shit."

"She didn't."

The three of them turned at the sound of Piney's voice, confused as to what he was saying.

"What do you mean she didn't?" Tig questioned, putting down his coffee mid-sip.

"Salazar's got her. And Margaret."

"Are you sure?" Kozik rose a brow.

"I told you that something was up," Y/N groaned, rubbing her eyes.

"I'm sure," Piney nodded. "He just called with his demands."

Tig looked to Y/N in warning.

She huffed, taking her mug and heading toward the door. "Yeah, yeah. I'll go help Chucky with paperwork or something. Supervise some of the guys or something."

She was starting to recognize certain glances. Ones that meant she should mind her own business. And she was fine with that. The less she knew, the less she'd have to lie if the cops became involved.

She found herself wondering if her parents would be proud of who she was becoming, or turn over in their graves.

* * *

Salazar wanted Alvarez dead. And 250,000 dollars on top of it. And he wanted it in twelve hours. Or Tara and Margaret would both be killed. They decided not to tell Jax, figuring he had enough to deal with. Then Kozik came up with a plan. A crazy one, but it just might work.

Tig hoped to high heaven it worked. Between Tara, Gemma and Y/N he had his work cut out for him.

These women were going to be the death of him.

* * *

The boys revved their engines, ready to hunt down O'Neill with McGee's approval. They were one step closer to finding Abel. One step closer to killing Jimmy. Pulling out of the lot, they rode through the streets of Belfast. When they'd reached the shipment yard, they stopped and parked.

It was a seedy-looking place. The concrete walls were a faded gray splashed here and there with some drying rain and sun-bleached light patches. Several of the windows were broken and there wasn't a soul to be seen. Which is exactly where a shady motherfucker like Liam O'Neill would take refuge.

Jax was growing tired of the bullshit. He just wanted his son back. He briefly wondered if he could keep this arrangement with Stahl going. Guilt about the mess he had dragged his brothers into whispered at the back of his mind in a constant annoying little voice that sounded a lot like Tara.

And of course, not soon after they were on foot, they heard the humming of a motorcycle engine. Furious and determined, Jax threw his whole body into the air, knocking the brunette off his bike.

Chibs, ready for a fight, rushed over with Happy to help restrain the traitor. He was a little thankful that Y/N hadn't come. If she had she would've seen how thirsty they had been for revenge. Revenge for Paddy. And partial revenger for Abel.

* * *

"Do you think the boys are okay?" she asked Chucky as she filled out another request form from a customer, ignoring how odd it felt to grip the pen in her hand.

Chucky turned from the filing Cabinet to look at Y/N. "You worried about Chibs?"

She nodded with a sigh. "He just seemed...off when he called last night. Like there's something he wasn't telling me."

"I'm sure it's just club stuff."

"No. I know there's stuff he does he can't tell me. But this felt different. Like he's distancing himself. Do you think he's in trouble?"

"I doubt it."

"It's.." She put down the pen, frustrated at her chicken scratch. "Maybe I'm being stupid. Or paranoid. Or both. But when he told me loved me last night. It sounded like he was in pain. That's why I wanted to talk to Margaret. Surprising she gives excellent dating advice."

"Well, I might not be Margaret but, I have spent some time with the guys." Seating himself on the top of the desk, he gave her what he thought was a reassuring smile. "And I've never seen Chibs the way his is with you. Not with anyone. So I'm pretty confident in saying that he loves you."

She relaxed a little, shoulder slumping as she leaned back into the chair. "I'm sorry you got tied up by Andre. There was no need for that."

"In his defense I guess there was. I said I was going to call the cops."

"Well then you deserved nothing less," Y/N giggled. "But still. You've been a good friend to me. I'm sorry if you got hurt."

"Y/N/N, I've been hurt in a lot of ways. All of which were undoubtedly worse than being tied up by your ex and thrown in a closet."

Her eyes grew sad. She wondered what had happened to him. How he'd gotten mixed up in all of this. But she never had the heart to ask, figuring if he wanted her to know, he'd tell her.

"Do you know what they did with the body?"

"I do," he admitted. "But I think it's better that you don't."

* * *

As he watched O'Neill hanging by the pipes, his stomach slit open, Chibs found himself secure in his decision. Y/N/N didn't need to be with a man like him. Someone who could watch these kind of things - this kind of torture happen. She didn't need to be with a man who killed. Or a man as old as he was. But she also didn't need a man who couldn't be honest with her. Who couldn't tell her everything.

Watching as the man bled, two bullet holes in his chest, Chibs knew his mind was made up. This solidified everything.

It was only the news of Jimmy's arrival that broke his thoughts. McGee had split and the bastard was armed.

Locking up the doors and setting up a trap, the boys climbed up a ladder to the roof, hoping for timing.

Clay tossed the lit bottle down once they were all on the rooftop. Like expected, Jimmy crawled out of the hole like the rat he was.

Today was the day. The man who tore apart his family. Jax's family. Killed his nephew. The bastard who threatened his daughter was finally in his reach while the rest of his men burned downstairs.

Or so they thought. McGee suddenly appeared. And one by one men emerged from the smokey pits below. Bullets began to fly as everyone went for cover. When it was all said and done, Jimmy was gone.

They cornered McGee, guns drawn and the ledge of the building. He was relieved of his weapon and then, after revealing that he'd turned on the club for money, his kutte. All for a bigger pay. With one last hug and a kiss to the cheek, the men watched as Clay pushed the older man back, not flinching at the sound his body made when it hit the ground.

Maybe today wasn't the day.

* * *

"No, Y/N/N," Tig spoke into the phone. "We haven't got them yet."

He sighed when the young woman continued to express her worry.

"Listen doll. You need to relax. I've got some cash under my mattress. Take that and buy yourself a book, see a movie or something. Keep your mind busy. We're in a time crunch. Oh. And don't mention any of this to Chibs. Okay? I'll be back in a little bit. You stay where people can see you."

When he hung up he rubbed his eyes. Women. Snapping his head up at Kozik's chuckle, as he rode in the back of the van. "What?"

"Nothin' brother. Just good to see you being so...maternal."

"Shut up," he spat at the van came to a stop. Placing the phone back in his pocket, he stood opening the door from Piney and Blondie.

The found Alvarez exiting his house trash bag and baby in tow. Pulling out a gun at their arrival, he demanded to know what they were doing at his home. Presenting their own firearms, Kozik tried to calm everyone down. Suddenly a woman appeared, rifle in hand, aimed to kill.

"Hold it! Hold it!" Kozik warned, placing a peaceful hand in the air. "Jesus. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, think this through."

The woman looked to Alvarez for how to respond. "Baby what do we do?"

"Look," Kozik pleaded, "we just need to talk to you, okay? This is a friendly visit. Put 'em away." Stowing his own gun in his kutte, he waited for Tig and Piney to do the same. "Put 'em away," he urged Tig.

"Put em away," Tig repeated, placing his hands up and lowering his weapon. "Come on, he's right. Piney."

The old man slowly lowered his gun, his glare never changing.

"Alvarez, he's right," Tig promised. "We come in peace. Peace," he repeated when the baby in the man's arms continued to cry.

Not breaking eye contact, Alvarez handed the infant to the young woman. "Take Tessa."

Obeying, his old lady took the baby, heading inside.

His weapon was still raised. He didn't know if he should trust them or not. There was so much history between the two clubs. Bad history.

"How'd you get my address?" he questioned.

"Got it from Salazar, man," Tig informed. "You know what he's done?"

Revealing what the former MC member had done, Tig really hoped the man would put the gun down soon. It was against instinct not to pull out his own when there was one still pointed at his face.

When Alvarez learned that Salazar wanted him dead along with money he didn't have, Kozik assured they would find the money somewhere else, explaining they just needed him to be dead. Just for a little bit. The Mayan president was not amused, reminding them what would happen to his business should people think he wasn't alive.

Begging Kozik promised that they would make it up to him. They just needed his help. They were desperate and this was the only option they had.

"Please," Kozik tried.

Looking to his old lady who stood behind the screen, he waited for her signal. When she nodded, he turned to the men and mimicked her gesture. "Alright."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you guys so much for reading! I know I say this way too much but it really does mean the world to me. I love to write these little scenarios in my head and it's awesome that other people are interested. I'm finally back into writing my own stuff as well. Which is awesome.

I really do hope that you guys liked the chapter and feel free to review it if you like. As always you can PM me for a request if you would like or just to chat. All my fandoms in such are available via my profile which also shows my update list (I update that after I upload a chapter) where you can find what I plan to have in store for you all.

Thanks again and so much love,

Ana


	14. Remind Me to Thank Clay

**A/N:** Fourteen chapters you guys! I was so ready for this because something big happens. And a lot of stuff is about to go down in chapter fifteen as we all know. But I'm just so excited to present you with this! I really hope you enjoy.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own nor am I affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy franchise. Kozik has one line in here - "Dude, you were right about the cops" - that is from the original episode (S3E12) so I'm gonna add that all lines from the episode belong to their respective writers.

* * *

Fourteen: Remind Me to Thank Clay

Y/N/N was going to bite her lip off if she kept nibbling at the skin. She was left sitting with nothing to do and all she could think about was Tara and Margaret. What was happening to them now? She needed to occupy her mind or she was going to go insane. Word had gotten out that Alvarez was dead. And it was only a matter of time before the women would be back. But the waiting was killing her.

Even when she was in North Carolina, she had never been surrounded by so much trouble. And that said a lot for the situation at hand. Tig sat on the phone while Kozik was to her right at the bar. Chuckie offered her a mug of coffee.

"I think she's had enough," Kozik chuckled softly. "Give her a fourth cup and she's going to go into shock or something."

Chuckie nodded but gave Y/N a subtle wink that let her know she'd get her cup in due time.

"Shaking like an addict," Piney noted, sitting on the other side of the man. "Nothing personal, Y/N/N. You just don't got the tolerance."

Glaring at the old man, her snark remark was cut off by the increased volume of Tig's voice. He was asking for more time.

Salazar was on the other end of the line, refusing to listen. The coal-haired man reminded him that the cops would be after the sons with word of Alvarez's death (though everyone else knew differently).

Tig let out a stressful sigh before closing his phone. He announced that the drop had been changed to noon.

"Where are you going to find the money?" Y/N asked. "I got paid yesterday. It's not much but it's something."

Tig nodded. As if her small paycheck made a dent. But her heart was in the right place and he he appreciated her willingness to help.

Chuckie spoke up, offering his own help to which Piney told him no.

"Dude," Kozik groaned, looking up at the lot footage on the t.v. above the bar. "You were right about the cops."

Y/N let out a small growl at the sight of Stahl on the footage. "Doesn't this bitch have something better to do?"

Tig and Kozik stood, walking out, leaving Chuckie, Piney and Y/N/N to sit and monitor the screen. They'd returned just shortly after they had left.

Unser walked in with the boys giving a hesitant look toward the woman at the bar. Nothing the bandages on her hands and shoulder, he gestured. "You alright, kid?"

She rolled her eyes and jumped from the seat as Kozik walked up beside her. "Fantastic. Herman here's just a little feisty in the bedroom." She looked to Tig who grabbed a beer. "I'll be in the office if you need me. See if I can get some stuff organized."

Giving Kozik a playful squeeze on the ass, she walked out the door. The blonde man gave a small smirk and shook his head before taking her vacated seat. He noted the now empty coffee mug on the counter, giving Chuckie a disapproving look.

Walking across the lot, Y/N shot a look to the ATF agent who'd yet to actually leave the premises. The smirk the woman sent her was enough to unnerve her. Whatever was going down. It didn't sit right with her.

* * *

"You can't honestly believes she wants to help," Y/N crossed her arms, sitting at Gemma's desk, and looking away from the paperwork. "I mean something just doesn't add up. She's up to something."

Tig stood across from her. "You don't trust her. I get it. But right now she's our best bet at getting those women home safely. Shit I don't even know why I'm telling you all this."

"You're stressed and you need to vent." the Y/E/C eyed woman gave a single-shouldered shrug as if people told her the plan on a regular basis. Hell, Tig told her more than Chibs did most of the time. "So what do you need?"

"I need to borrow your backpack."

* * *

No one could make his blood boil like the Irish. All the lies that had been circulating since SAMCRO's arrival, was driving Chib's mad. But now they had the okay. To kill Jimmy. For once, he wasn't furious with the Ashby.

Abel was back. He had two of his three girls with him. Drinks were being toasted. Watching the baby wiggle and worm around in Gemma's lap brought him back to when his Kerianne was that little. The thought made him realize he wouldn't mind another one. But he knew that wouldn't happen.

He was too old and Y/N was infertile. So he was content to sit and watch Abel and be content with the moment.

Standing, he knew it was time to go. Thinking of all that had gone wrong to get right again. Y/N. Paddy. Kerianne and Fi almost dying multiple times. Gemma holding a gun to a baby. Jax almost losing his son forever. And Jimmy heading to the states.

Yet here everyone was. Tired and pleased with how things had ended. Abel asleep in his father's arms as they he hugged his loves good-bye. Things were going well for the first time all week.

Until the call from Tig.

* * *

Margaret had gotten away, heading straight to the cops. But Tara was still unaccounted for. And that worried her. Sick of her fidgeting and worried glances, Piney put Y/N/N to work in the shop.

"Small stuff only," he warned. "Don't go lifting anything. You need something you get one of the guys to help you."

She tried to contain her relief at the thought of something to keep her busy. "Careful Piney. You almost sound like you care."

Shaking his head, Piney mounted his bike, taking off without another word.

* * *

The arrival of a familiar black van pulling into the lot had her heart skipping a beat. Y/N had just managed to change into her work clothes. She knew Tig had called them. But she hadn't expected them to be in yet.

Tig rushed to help the boys out of the van. And Y/N watched from the garage as Lyla greeted Opie. She watched Chibs head straight for the clubhouse, reminding herself that he wasn't ignoring her and Tara still being kidnapped was the priority.

But when Gemma walked over with Abel, that's when her body was finally able to relax.

She held back the tears as the older woman offered to let her hold him. "Gemma, I'm so sorry. I-"

"He's home. That's what matters."

Y/N gave a small nod, knowing that what Gemma really meant was they weren't going to bring up the past. She held Abel in her arms, giving him the fake surprised smile all adults gave babies. "Hey buddy!"

She turned to Gemma mouthing a silent thank you as the matriarch went to greet Chuckie.

* * *

It wasn't until later when she watched Lyla holding Abel while Opie ruffled the boys hair, that Y/N/N found herself saddened. She was never going to have that. All because of the man she had killed. The man whose body she still didn't know the whereabouts of. She tried not to shudder at the thought.

She couldn't call Margaret. The woman had just gotten back to her family. There was no way Y/N was going to be the one to interrupt the reunion just so she could whine about what could've been. She couldn't tell anyone why watching Opie and his girl who looked so much like a family in that moment.

So she just watched them, the small prodding of jealousy in the pit of her stomach.

* * *

Chibs waited until he knew she was asleep. Once Salazar was dead and Tara was home safely, the club sat down at the table on whether or not to patch Kozik into their charter. Tig had, once again, voted no before walking out of the room.

It had been a long week and Tig's stubbornness wasn't helping. The club needed Kozik. And whatever history was between the two, needed to be buried. Chibs wanted nothing more than to lay down beside the woman he loved. Because come tomorrow, things were going to be different.

Walking back to the dorms, he opened the door to find her sprawled out like and exhausted child. He made his way to the dresser across from the bed. Stipping down, he placed his gun in the top drawer for the time being. Deciding he was too tired to take a shower tonight, he didn't bother with pulling out clean briefs. He closed the drawer, only to hear a small gasp that echoed through the room when it shut with a small slam.

Turning, he came to face a knife-wielding Y/N. The look in her eyes was pure terror and he wondered for a moment when the last time she'd gotten a full night of sleep had been. He raised his hands in a placating manner, waiting for her to respond.

Her Y/E/C eyes were so wide they were almost circles. Her hair so wild it stood up in directions he'd never even thought possible. She jumped up, standing on the mattress. Her arm was raised, ready to take a swipe at him if he so much as moved.

Then, as if it were possible, her eyes widened more upon figuring out who he was, she plopped back down with a light thud, her chest heaving.

* * *

She put the knife back on the bedside table when she realized it was Filip at the foot of the bed and not the ghost of Andre. He was in nothing but his underwear. He hadn't expected her to wake up. And part of him knew that he probably should've taken the couch. But he couldn't. He needed one last night with her.

Grabbing her by the ankles, he gently pulled her toward him. He leaned down to kiss her and she stood, wrapping her arms around him.

"I missed you," she whispered to him.

He pressed his lips lightly against hers, savoring the taste of her. The scent. He leaned her back onto the mattress, nibbling on her neck.

"I don't want to have sex," she breathed as he hovered over her. "Tonight I just want to be with you. Are you alright with that?"

"Aye." He kissed her still before rolling off of her, wrapping his arm around her when she snuggled into his side. "That's fine. Heard you've been screwing around with Kozik behind me back anyway."

She laughed at his joke, leaning her head up to press a kiss against his chest. "I'm really glad you're back," she admitted, looking ahead at the wall.

"Trust me when I say, I'm glad to be back," he chuckled, finding his fingers in her hair as he looked up at the ceiling.

"I thought you'd stay in Ireland."

"Why?"

"You've got family there."

He sat up slightly, meeting her eyes before lowering his lips to hers. "I've got family here."

"I love you," she whispered.

He didn't know what to say. He'd told her the same right before he'd left for Belfast. "I know you do."

Shortly after she was asleep in his arms and he was full of guilt.

* * *

He'd been acting strange all morning. He wouldn't look her in the eye. She felt as though he was avoiding her. As a result, she was confused, knowing full and well that they'd been on good terms when he'd left.

"I need to tell you something."

Looking up at him, she grew nervous. His tone was grave and his expression, regretful. "The day they took Abel…"

"What?"

"Could you maybe sit down?"

She did so, sitting on the bed. "You're making me paranoid."

"I slept with Fiona."

She straightened up in shock. "Why are you telling me this? We weren't together then. Not really."

"You asked me to never lie to you again. I'm trying no to Y/N/N. I don't want to lie to you. I slept with her in Belfast too."

The lie hurt him. But the look that crossed her face is what broke him. The pain was etched all over her body. She'd been cheated on before. He'd known that. Which is why it was the perfect plan. To push her away. To keep her safe.

"Well, this I could've lived without knowing."

"I'm sorry -"

"No. I'm sorry. I'm so stupid. How could I have not expected this? She's the mother of your child after all."

"Y/N," he pleaded, reaching for her hand, yanking it a little too roughly.

"Don't touch me!" she flinched, pressing herself against the door. "I'll find somewhere else to sleep tonight. Just...leave me alone."

He watched as she left, slamming the door behind her. This had to be done.

* * *

"I just don't get it man," Tig sighed with a shake of his head. "She's in rough shape isn't she? Why- why would you lie to her about something like that?"

Chibs sipped his beer and shook his head. "She can't stay here."

"So what? You're just gonna drive her out of town?"

"It's what's best."

"And what if one of them finds her, huh? If they hurt her or worse. How are you gonna feel about that?"

"Enough."

"Fine," Tig conceded with his palms in the air. "But let me say one more thing. She loves you. Don't ruin a good thing when you've got it."

Standing the crooked-nosed man walked off to go get ready for Gemma's breakfast.

* * *

Y/N watched as everyone smiled and chatted. Celebrating Abel being back home. She looked at Opie and Lyla who had just announced their engagement. Then to Jax and Tara. To see these men doting over the women they loved, being proud to be with them. Holding them. Kissing them. It made her want to vomit.

Why did everyone else get to be glad in their relationships when she was miserable?

She knew Filip had lied. She'd known the second she'd walked out the door. But the fact that he'd lied to her, only angered her more. Because now she knew he wanted her to leave. She just didn't know why.

* * *

He sat on the bench staring at nothing in particular while he smoked. It was for the better, he told himself. Things would be better if she was gone.

"I was going to leave."

Chibs turned at the sound of Y/N's voice, looking away before he could fully see her. He knew if he saw her, he'd be weak. Too weak to deny her. Blowing out a small puff of smoke.

"You still can," he encouraged with another a drag. "I deserve it."

"I meant before you made up some lie about you and Fiona," she sighed, sitting beside him. She kicked up a pebble in front of her foot as she pulled out her own pack of cigarettes and lighting up. "Why you lied, I got no clue, but I'd like to think it was similar to why I tried to split."

He tried to pretend the thought of her running out on him didn't boil his blood. "You should've left," he muttered, putting out the butt of his own smoke as she took a puff.

"I didn't want to," she admitted running a hand over her face, trying to ignore the fact that he was refusing to look at her. "I was trying to… Really trying, but I couldn't. And Tig-"

"You two have gotten close since I left."

"Don't pick a fight," she warned, ignoring the taste in her mouth as she inhaled again. "I trust him. Enough to listen when he said to stay."

Was it jealousy that suddenly filled him? Rage? The thought of her that close to his brother bothered him more than he cared to admit. He knew they had been closer since the murder but the thought of his Y/N/N in another man's arms - the arms of Tig no less - made his hands shake.

"Just like I trust you enough to know that you wouldn't cheat on me," she continued, taking a deep drag. "I know you want to keep me safe. But, let's face it; this is the life you chose. Neither of us can change the fact that there will always be danger for us. We might as well face it together."

"You're supposed to be smart," he gave.

"I'd rather be the idiot with you," Y/N smiled. "Besides you didn't pick me for my brain."

"Not at first," he teased. "But I fell for that and everything else." Finally, for the first time all day, he looked directly into her y/e/c eyes. As soon as he did, he knew the battle was lost. "Remind me to thank Clay."

"For what?" Y/N chuckled.

"For having me spy on you."

Smiling, she put out her cigarette and kissed him.

"Wait," he paused, pulling away from her. "When did you start smoking?"

She grinned. "I didn't. You left your pack on the nightstand."

Shaking his head, he kissed her once more. "Why don't we take this to the bedroom?"

* * *

"Remind me to thank Clay," Y/N mused as they lay in the aftermath of their lovemaking, leg entangled as their bodies glistened with sweat.

"For what?" Chibs sighed as he played with her hair, enjoying the feeling of her skin against his.

"For having you spy on me." Lifting herself up slightly, she began to pepper light kisses down his chest. His stomach.

"Wait," he said, pulling her back up to him so that she lay against his chest.

"What?" she smirked. "Need a little more time to recuperate?"

"Marry me."

"Excuse me?" Sitting up fully now, she looked at him as if he had two heads. Her mouth slightly open as she struggled to form words. "W-why would you want to marry me?"

He laughed. "I didn't realize you thought so little of yourself."

"No I mean - Why now? Out of nowhere? It's a little unexpected. I guess I'm just surprised is all."

"Aren't you supposed to be surprised when someone proposes?"

"Well, yeah. But we haven't been together that long and -"

"I'm beginning to think you don't want to marry me."

"Of course I do."

"Then marry me."

"Fine."

"You'll marry me?"

"Yes," she giggled. "Yes I will marry you!"

A grin appeared on his face so large all she could do was compare it to a child. Yanking her forward, he pulled her back on top of him.

"Now I could go for another round."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you guys so much for reading! How about that mushy ending, huh? I was so excited to write that particular bit. But keep you pants on, cause you know something's gonna happen in the next chapter. Can't they just ever catch a break? Anyways... I hope you all loved the chapter. Feel free to drop a comment. Reviews are much appreciated. Have any requests? PM me through here or you can find me on tumblr. My user name is simplekindofgirl. But fanfiction is probably the best way to contact me for a request.

See you in the next chapter.

Hope you all have a glorious day!

Love, Ana


	15. Promises, Promises

**A/N:** What's this? An update? How can it be. Can I just start off by saying that I hate this chapter and that's why I ignored updating it. I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to go about it. Especially when trying to stick to canon. That's not really something I've ever done with my fics so this is really challenging me, haha. But anyway this chapter is not the best even though it is one of the best episodes in the series: THE DEATH OF STAHL! But I was also tired of copying dialogue from the show which is why this chapter jumps around so much. But on the bright side SMUT!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Sons of Anarchy.

 **Warnings** :Smut, unprotected sex

* * *

 **Fifteen: Promises, Promises**

Y/N walked out to the picnic tables in search of her man per his request to meet him there. She found him sitting on the bench looking up at her expectantly.

"What's this?" she asked when she saw a handgun laid out on one of the tables, adjusting her hat to block the sunlight better.

"A gun."

"Really? I had no idea."

"I'm going to teach you how to shoot."

Y/N crossed her arms, sitting down across from him. "I know how to shoot. You really want me firing this thing?"

"Not today," he shook his head. "Today you will learn how to take it apart and reassemble it."

"Why?"

"Because, you should know how to work one."

"Chibs," she whined.

"Just do it. For me. We can do it until you get fast at it."

"Fine." She reached out and grabbed the gun before he could.

"Alright now -" he words were cut off when she had already started going to work. He watched, open-mouthed as she disassembled and reassembled without a hitch.

"Forty-eight seconds," she announced when she placed the gun back on the table. "I used to be faster."

"How did you -"

"I know how to handle a gun, Filip. My dad was a Marine. He taught me a thing or two. I used to beg him to show me this kind of stuff."

"Well I was going to try and be romantic. You know adjust your stance and what not. But now that can't happen." He gave a light-hearted laugh to show he was joking. "I like a woman who can work a weapon." He sighed, his smile fading as he studied her. The woman, in so many ways was still a mystery to him.

She chuckled, resting her chin in her hand and looking at him, noting the way he looked at her. "You're wondering why I didn't shoot him sooner."

"Well why not?"

"I don't know. I definitely thought about it. I might have if I thought I could get away with it. I was still a little put off of firearms after my parents. I dunno. Maybe I would have if I didn't think I'd be worthless without him. "

"You're not worthless."

"I know that now. And he can't hurt me anymore." Her bottom lip trembled slightly. "I killed someone, Chibs."

They both looked up when Clay walked out the door, Y/N blinking away the tears that had been forming. She didn't want people to see her as weak. Especially not Clay.

"Y/N/N," the white-haired man, grinned. "How would you like picking up some extra hours here in a few days? Small stuff but it's needed."

"That'd be great," she nodded. "Something going on?"

"Not really. Things are just gonna be short-handed around here for a while." Saying nothing more, he walked away from the two, leaving the woman to look at the biker in front of her.

"What's going on?"

"All you need to know is that we'll be safe."

"Safe?" Standing up, she stared down at him. "What are you guys doing?"

"We're out of time. Now there's some stuff we have to do first. But the club's going to be going away for a while," he whispered.

"Away? What, you mean to jail? I just got you back Filip!"

Now he stood. "Say it a little louder why don't you?" He walked over to her, his voice changing to a soothing tone. "I'm not one of the ones going to jail remember? I'll be back tonight. But you can't say a word of this to anyone. Especially Gemma."

"Oh come on! I just got her to like me. And I use that term lightly." She squinted at him, giving in when he rested his forehead against hers. "So help me, if you end up in jail or dead -"

"Trust me, you aren't getting rid of me that easily." His hands found her waist. "I promise. But I won't lie to you. Things are going to get crazy today. And I need you to be brave. No running off."

Standing on her toes, she pressed her lips to his. "I'll be waiting for you to get back."

He kissed her back, deeper this time.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

Y/N walked into Gemma's office to find Chuckie looking agitated. Walking in, she leaned against the desk. "You alright, man?"

"No one's listening to me."

She gave him a small smile and nudged his shoulder with hers as he sat beside her. "Penny for your thoughts."

"Ironic," he chuckled. "I'm trying to help the guys out. But I don't think they take me seriously."

"What do you know that'll help them out?"

"I don't know everything that's going on. They don't tell me much, ya know."

"Yeah, Filip doesn't tell me much either." She shook her head, turning the conversation back to him. "But what do you have?"

* * *

Y/N did what she could to keep her mind busy. Hell, she would've taken paperwork if that would keep her mind of the impending chaos that was supposedly supposed to be taking place. Chibs hadn't gone into detail and her thoughts were swimming with different scenarios.

All the what-ifs and uncertainties were driving her nuts. But she couldn't get a moment of peace. Especially when Chuckie came to pull her away from her current project to back him up with Jax. Though a part of her was thankful. Her distracted mind had resulted in a number of swears and hammered fingers (which she was smart enough to hide under her shop rag when the man looped his arm around her and dragged her past Tara.

"Jax, can I show you something real important? You really oughta know about it."

"You should," Y/N agreed, as the blonde man looked down at them, continuing to walk.

"No now, bro," Jax disagreed, giving the fidgeting accountant a soft hand on the shoulder as he went to meet with Opie.

That's when she heard it. She didn't know who in the hell Putlova was. Or what he had to do with Jimmy. But he was demanding two million from the club.

"Damn it Teller," the woman groaned. "Listen to Chuck!"

But Chuckie had already ran off in the other direction, leaving the Y/H/C haired woman to deal with the glare she received before Jax met with his old lady.

"For the love of all that is holy," she muttered, following after her friend. She was barely to the door before Chuckie had run back out of Gemma's office and opened the contents of the box in his arms.

This time they listened.

* * *

"That's a lot of guns," Y/N noted as Tig handed out mac-10's like candy.

"Didn't you used to screw an arms dealer?" Juice laughed, immediately gulping when he received cross stares from both Chibs and Tig.

"Come on," Tig bit as he gave the mohawked man a smack on the back of the head.

"Ignore him," Chibs told her, placing his hand in her back pocket.

"Already done. So you're sure you can't tell me the whole plan?"

"No. The less you know the better. Your surprise needs to be authentic. There's got to be no trace of doubt that you weren't involved in this or aware."

"Okay. But after this I want to know everything. It's only fair."

He nodded. "Aye. I promise I'll be honest with you. Just not right now. It's too much of a risk with you knowing what you already do."

"Fine," Y/N pouted, looking past him and noting an old man with an oxygen tank. "Piney's waiting for you."

"I'll see you tonight. I love you Y/N/N."

"I love you too Telford."

* * *

"Gemma no," Y/N muttered as both she and Tara fought to hold the older woman back.

There was heartbreak in the older woman's attempts to break free. But mainly there was fear. Fear that her only living son - her baby - would die at the very hands of the club that had brought him up.

This was it. They were going to jail. Stahl stood in the parking lot of Teller-Morrow with a smug look on her serpent-like face as she watched the chaos she created unfold. Jax was being yelled at from all directions as the men of his club - his brothers - were dragged into a holding truck with their hands cuffed. Y/N/N did her best to reign the mother bear in. She didn't know what else to do. Looking to Tara, she hoped the doctor could provide her with some sort of answer as to what she should do. She didn't know that this had been what Chibs meant when he said her reaction needed to be authentic. And she wished she'd had a bit more warning about what she was to expect. But the shock she felt. Was real. And part of her wasn't so sure this had been the plan that Filip had somewhat told her. Perhaps shit had really just hit the fan.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Briefly, she wondered why he had warned her against saying anything to Gemma. She wasn't so sure the woman wasn't about to have another episode of heart issues. But he wasn't there to ask. He was off somewhere unknown with Piney, Ope and Kozik. And though she was nervous and scared on the outside. Inside she was unreasonably calm. Things would be okay.

And he would come home to her.

Just like he promised.

* * *

He wasn't expecting to be knocked down almost full force upon entering the light of the dorm. Nor was he expecting Y/N to completely ignore the sight of him and kiss him fully on the mouth. There were tears streaming down her cheeks and it frightened him. He couldn't tell if her crying was over relief, worry or a combination of the two.

"I promised I'd come home to ye," he soothed when she buried her face in his chest. Placing a gentle kiss on her hair, Chibs tilted her face up toward him with the gloved knuckle of his thumb. "I'm home."

"I know. But I can't have my future husband dying on me now can I?" Smiling, the young woman brought her arms to sit around his shoulders, her fingers undoing the hair tie at the nape of his neck. "What happened tonight?"

He sighed, placing his hands on her waist. "Nothing you need to worry yourself over. The less you know the better."

"I can handle it. You killed Jimmy." Before he could ask how she knew, she wiped a thumb over his scar. "The police scanner was going crazy. Are you alright?"

He pulled away. "Why are you not afraid?"

She crossed her arms over her chest as she watched him sit on the bed. "You're not the only one who's killed someone, Filip."

"That was in self defence," he reminded, stripping off his kutte. "Bastard had it coming."

"Jimmy had it coming too. From what I could tell." Her leg shook as she watched him undo his boots, fumbling with the laces. "Here."

Bending down, she gave a small swat at his hands, undoing the boots herself. She didn't comment on the fact that his hands were shaking. Or that his breathing had become shallow. She didn't point out that there was dried blood crusted on the toe of his left boot. And she didn't mention the small ounce of fear that ran through her at the thought that he was capable of murder.

"So you're just going to baby me after I've killed a man then?"

Looking up through her lashes, she gave him a small chuckle before smirking. "Oh aye," she prodded, mimicking his accent. Bringing her hand to his chest she laid him back, her fingers slowing trailing down his body and stopping at his belt. "And I'm fully dedicated to helping you destress."

"That's a horrible accent, but somehow… you make it so sexy."

The moan he let out when she pulled down his zipper sent shivers through her. She watched as his already semi-hard cock twitched and began to strain against the briefs he wore. Freeing him, she took his member into her mouth, swirling her tongue around him.

"Fuck."

His eyes rolled into the back of his head when he felt the back of her throat and she moaned against his head. Fully-hard now, Chibs gripped the blanket of their bed.

She took him fully now, slipping his hard cock smoothly down the back of her throat. She could feel him throbbing. And though it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to breathe with him in her mouth, she continued. Her core was humming from the satisfaction he was receiving.

"Shite Y/N." Breath ragid, he sifted his fingers through her hair, gripping with a firm hand. "I need you."

Yanking her hair, he led her up his glove-clad hands immediately finding her ass as she rubbed herself over him. He rolled them over, hovering above her as he pushed her underwear to the side, nesting himself - finally - inside her.

"Don't be gentle."

"I won't," he promised.

Pulling out, he balanced himself so that only the head of his dick was teasing her entrance. The look of impatience that crossed her face was oddly satisfying. Y/N opened her mouth to beg only for a loud, gasping moan to escape her lips as he slammed back into her.

"Fuck… Chibs."

"Call me by my name," the older man grunted as he continued with a relentless pounding.

"Filip."

"That's right. Holy fuck," he managed, going for her neck when she dug her fingernails into his hip.

Her back arched when he hit a new angle in the process. "Right there!"

"There?"

"There."

The scotsman reached a hand between them, his thumb finding her clit as he flicked it. First right. Then left. Right, then up and left again. He could feel his movements begin to stutter as he watched her come undone beneath him.

"Don't stop. Don't stop."

"Come on lass."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"That's right."

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Filip."

Suddenly she tightened around him tugging at the kutte that still covered his upper half. The feeling of her walls contracting around him was enough to send him over the edge, his vision blurring as he filled her.

Y/N let him have his release, the throbbing of his cock echoing inside of her as he softened and let his weight land on her. She thought she heard a sniffle. But she didn't comment. Instead, she ran her fingers through his hair, only moving from under him once he had actually fallen asleep.

* * *

 **A/N:** So I sort of wanted to play with the idea that there is another side to these guys than we see. They kill people a lot on this show and sometimes (especially for Jax as the seasons go on) it seems easy for them to do it. So I wanted to explore the idea of mental reprecussions. That being said. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and thank you so much for reading.

Feel free to DM me for requests and pop a review in the box if you'd like.

As always I wish you much love,

Ana

P.S. Does anyone besides me actually read authors notes?


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